I realized recently that I don't think I've seriously revisited my scripture writing project since my dad died in 2023. I tried to get back into it a couple of time, but omg that place I came from and how sick I was. Considering that I *wrote it* while sick in the first place is a real testament to how awful things got.

I had all but 3-4 planned chapters finished, with even a few edit passes. (I need to keep re-reading it as I pick it back up, and just edit as I go.) So like, it's *almost* ready for people to see it. So close.

I had tried to sell it the season before dad died, but there's really only like, one place that would be a good fit for this weird little gremlin. And they rejected it.

At this point, I'm kinda sorta thinking of just putting it online. I've been thinking about doing an indie web site anyway, and this is just the sort of weird little text you could easily find on the 90s internet.

I just read chapter 2 and it's solid.

idk. I felt called to write this thing to express the insights I'd gained while trying to stay alive enduring unbearable pain for so long. And as a project to see if I could untangle the authoritarian aspects of Mormonism, to see what a truly expansive, inclusive, diversity-embracing version of Mormon doctrine could look like.

It's my Secular Woke Hermeneutics of Mormonism in the vibe of Alan Watts and Carl Sagan. My speculative theology. My sequel to Recovering Agency after deconstruction. It's the "So now what?"

It feels right. It feels like a calling. I feel like I'm coming up for air now and want to do something with it.

#exmo #exmormon #ReligiousTrauma #ScriptureWriting