updating this thing is mainly a nightmare because the only updates I've managed to at all get working are the ones from the Surface IT Tool and it can't download most of the images because microsoft is storing the images on a server that someone reboots every 10 minutes or something
microsoft, you know that resuming HTTP downloads has been a solved problem since, uh, 1997?
It's a 22gb file and it can go as fast as half a gigabit/s but it keeps just hanging at like 14gb in. Your only option is to cancel and try again, which starts from byte 0
they mention this might be a problem in one of the many FAQs, and they recommend you fix it by getting better internet
I should MITM myself and see if I can figure out where it's downloading these files, and just curl it
I'd be tempted to launch my win95 VM ad use GetRight to download it, but I imagine it'd have some issues with TLS and certificates and such
oh right I need to install TCP/IP onto my windows 95 machine first
lemme find my win95 floppies
Nah, MS won't let you download the file over HTTP, and this version of GetRight from 1997 doesn't support HTTPS.
the curl download failed with a connection reset after 17 minutes and 20gb!
so I tell curl to resume it, and... the server starts over from the beginning.
MICROSOFT'S STUPID SERVER DOESN'T SUPPORT THE RANGE HEADER
IT'S 2026 BUY A REAL COMPUTER
anger canceled, I was just misreading curl. it did resume.
so again, why doesn't microsoft's official tool do this?
anyway I have the file now. There's a metadata JSON file that I don't have, but it looks very fakable. Then I can use the official recovery tool to build me a bootable USB drive, like it's supposed to be able to do
FUN FACT: the Surface IT Tool doesn't seem to validate any of the windows version info you give it in the JSON file!
yeah no it just failed verification. So I'm just going to try to download it, again, and again, and again, until I get lucky
currently on attempt #8
#7 made it to 17gb (of 22gb)!
slightly tempted to automate it. watch the screen for the visible download amount, and if it hasn't changed in Xty seconds, hit cancel, restart.
cross your fingers, we're at 19gb and still climbing at 76 Mbps!
OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUSLY DOING THIS, MICROSOFT
bad idea: I already MITM'd this once.
I download the file with curl and stick it on a local fast server. Then I set up mitmproxy to silently rewrite requests to their shitty server to my local one, which will be an actual server that works and doesn't randomly drop connections once out of EVERY FUCKING TIME
annoyingly I already deleted the file I downloaded earlier.
(I'm juggling laserdisc archival files right now, so my laptop has a VERY full hard drive, and I thought I was done with that file when it failed verification)
my first attempt and curling it stalled at 16mb.
not gigabytes, megabytes.
hey microsoft could I mail you some blank floppies and you just return 'em with the file on it? that might be easier at this point
my best guess for what is happening: I'm getting randomly loadbalanced onto a bunch of very overloaded servers.
I have downloaded the file and I'm now copying it onto my local server.
why didn't I just download it on my local server in the first place, so I wouldn't have to copy it across my house's network?
good question.
okay the files all moved locally so I can just make mitmproxy point it at the different URL. but I think I have been screaming at this problem enough for one day, so I'm going to stop for tonight.
the surface hub has not defeated me yet, I fight on
I lied. mitmproxy is now redirected to my local server, and Surface IT Tool is downloading from it.
annoyingly slowly, actually. Only 51Mbps? this is 22gb!
(it's probably because mitmproxy is handling all the bytes instead of letting nginx do it)
okay I have made a recovery disk by using the MITM download hack
how much do you want to bet this thing won't even boot?
it boots! it's now recovering
this may finally get us incrementally closer to a version of windows that actually works
It replaced the windows logo during boot with the teams logo
It just showed that it was logging into a user account named "Skype"
Yeah I can't get past the setup. It gives me two accounts, Skype and Administrator, and the latter is passworded, and the former doesn't work because I can't login to a Skype account
This machine is a fractal paperweight
There are two recovery images I have that work. One of them boots to an environment that can't use the store and can't run software until it gets to the store.
The other can't log in because Skype is gone
IT LIVES! AND WE HAVE UNKIOSKED WINDOWS 11 IoT!
The trick was installing MTR (Microsoft Teams for Rooms) and then logging into the passworded Administrator account ("sfb": "Skype For Business") and deleting the Skype account. Now it boots to 11 IoT and I can run updates
And the machine can finally, FINALLY after 4 days become useful and a real computer:
Windows if you fuck me here after all I've been through, I swear to god...
okay so if you are unfortunate enough to get a Surface Hub 2S and want to make it run Useful Windows (linux would be nice but I haven't figured out how to boot it) instead of Broken Windows, you need to:
1. Get the Surface IT Tools
2. Go through the whole SEMM mode enrollment with the private key and such
3. Try to create a Surface 2S MTR 22H2 recovery disk. The download will fail
3a. MITM Surface IT Tools to get the URL of the 22gb file you need.
@foone I managed to install Linux on a Surface tablet -- but this sounds like a rather different beast.
Alice Averlong🏳️⚧️
Woozle Hypertwin