Mastodawn

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 25

for this steam nextfest demo review thread, i will be tapping into Apollo's divine gift of prophecy and attempting to scry how people will be talking about these games in eight to ten months, when they are out. i'm partaking deeply of the sacred fumes and i'm attuning myself to the whispers of a phantom chorus

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 25

FORBIDDEN SOLITAIRE: your classier breed of streamer will enjoy this game, as will aging millennials who played a lot of CD-ROM games growing up (like yours truly). there will be UNHINGED discourse online over whether this counts as "an Inscryption-like". unfortunately, rinky-dink mobile knockoffs of this game that remove the unique graphics and narrative framing device in exchange for More Microtransactions will make approximately $1,000,000,000,000 more than this game https://store.steampowered.com/app/3414580/Forbidden_Solitaire/

Steam：Forbidden Solitaire

Forbidden Solitaire is a card-slashing horror game about unearthing the contents of a cryptic 1995 CD-ROM that should have never existed. From the creators of Ancient Enemy and Home Safety Hotline.

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 25

ZERO PARADES: FOR DEAD SPIES: ohhh my god. the ratio of people who have An Opinion on this game vs. people who have actually played it will be fucking unreal. by pandering hard to Disco freaks (none of whom trust ZA/UM by this point), all of this game's positive aspects-- its clarified stat system, its more in-depth health mechanics, its intriguing John Le Carre-influenced burnt spy plot-- will not matter in the face of one question: is this Art, or just a Product?

https://store.steampowered.com/app/2863680/ZERO_PARADES_For_Dead_Spies/

Steam：ZERO PARADES: For Dead Spies

優れた才能を持ちながらも苦悩する主人公となって絶望的な任務に挑む、ストーリー重視の諜報RPG。壊れたネットワークのピースを拾い集め、「歴史の終わり」で絡み合う残虐な陰謀を解き明かし、自らの価値を証明せよ。さもなくば…再び、すべてが水の泡となる。

the illustrious IRIS JAY

unfortunately the only definitive way to really determine this is to play it while critically comparing it to Disco Elysium, other texts ZA/UM's current and former creators have written on the topic of games and of the relationship between creativity and capital, and possibly just theory in general on making entertainment our current hyper-capitalist death spiral. congratulations. you are now officially a paranoid academic leftist with a broken heart. this is Disco's final, fatal gift to you

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 25

VAMPIRE CRAWLERS: this game will have two kinds of players:

1. Those who think it is, y'know, fine.

2. Those who are experiencing severe health symptoms from being nailed to it every waking moment like the cursed film in Infinite Jest.

there will be many, *many* mods for this on Nexus which replace nearly every asset in the game with a dizzying miasma of infantile, half-melted anime women. for the second type of player, this game IS sex.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/3265700/

Steam：Vampire Crawlers: The Turbo Wildcard from Vampire Survivors

世界を壊滅させるコンボで魔物の巣窟と化したダンジョンを突き進め！Vampire Survivorsがお送りするVampire Crawlers: The Turbo Wildcardは、ローグライト要素ありのカジュアルなターン制デッキビルダー。自分で組み合わせた手札で、TURBOTURNTM制覇に挑戦しよう！

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 25

500 CALIBER CONTRACTZ and CICADAMATA": These two share the same prophecy because they share the same fate: they are exclusively for edgelord transgender speedrunning submissives who have rewired the motion sickness gland in their brains to serve as twitch reflex boosters instead. i will not be playing much of these games myself, but i'm sure i'll be in a spit chain with many, many people who are, and who won't shut up about them during sex

https://store.steampowered.com/app/2571410/
https://store.steampowered.com/app/3817250/

500 CALIBER CONTRACTZ on Steam

A 3D-Platformer where you play as a contract killer and your eyes glaze over.

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 25

i want to be clear though: the aesthetic decisions for these games are fucking flawless. i'm not wired for them, but. 500 Caliber Contractz's Options menu is styled like a DeviantArt page circa 2006 with little flashing 88x31 GIF buttons that say shit like "KILL THE PRESIDENT", and i'm sorry, but that's perfect. i predict i will be THINKING about these games a LOT

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 25

HELLSLINGER: I couldn't test this out because it's built in GZDoom and doesn't have controller support. it also appears to have been forged from a gonzo furry webcomic on ComicGenesis in 2006 and then shot forward in time, in some sort of reverse 12 Monkeys-style situation. the scrying pool's results are currently inconclusive. in this prophetess's opinion, though, no trailer i've seen has made me actually physically fist-pump in real life harder than this one

https://store.steampowered.com/app/2140540/Hellslinger/

Hellslinger on Steam

Blast your way through the hordes of Hell as you strive to reclaim your soul in this narrative driven FPS. You are Hellslinger, a master of the gun. Shouldn't be too hard right? All you've got to do is slay the Lord of Hell and stop his invasion of the mortal realm

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 25

TITANIUM COURT: this is it. this is The One. this is going to be the game that makes the entire indie game community fall in desperate hormone-addled-teenager-grade love with it. it will get snubbed at the Game Awards, and all of your jaded, snooty game dev friends will say this is further proof that old man Geoff couldn't find his ass with both hands. and they're right, too. your spouse or relative who Doesn't Usually Play Many Games will fucking ADORE this game.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/2364580/Titanium_Court/

Titanium Court on Steam

A surreal strategy game for clowns and criminals.

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 25

that's enough prophecies for now. the vapors are getting to me. more games on my list include Denshattack!, Pragmata, Hypnos, Calx and Luna Abyss; if you've got any other suggestions, feel free to lemme know

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

Okay enough doomscrolling for this morning. It’s time to re-enter the Oracular Caves of Gamer Prophecy and continue my Next Fest demo review thread! Last night I played some more BIG budget stuff, and the results were… whelming, mostly

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

PRAGMATA: After years in development, the cultural impact of this lush, zillion dollar triple-A game will be… in three years you’ll probably pick it up for six bucks in a Steam sale, or in one of those free Epic store giveaways. You got reminded of it from an Easter egg collectible in Resident Evil 9, and you’re sure you’ll get around to playing it eventually. Maybe. If there’s nothing better to do. https://store.steampowered.com/app/3357650/PRAGMATA/

Pre-purchase PRAGMATA on Steam

Capcom’s newest IP—PRAGMATA. An all-new Science Fiction action adventure with its own unique hacking twist! It is the near future, and protagonists Hugh and his android companion Diana, must work together as they make their way through the cold lunar research station.

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

DENSHATTACK!: while this game was a little too twitchy for this prophetess to master, I have full confidence it will attract a truckload of quick-reflexed young scofflaws who are mere months away from having some very interesting revelations about their gender. At AGDQ, someone will set a new speedrun record for this game using a Densha De Go! arcade cabinet as a controller, and it will be the sickest shit you’ve ever seen. https://store.steampowered.com/app/2524850/Denshattack/

Denshattack! on Steam

Flip, trick and grind your train in a fast-paced, off-the-rails ride through a colourful Japanese dystopia. Outmatch rival gangs, wreck a shady megacorp, and take back the tracks with nothing but skill, speed, and style.

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

CALX: People won’t remember this game, and that sucks, because it’s rock solid. There are no pick-3 roguelike aspects, there’s no in-depth, character-studded plot, there’s no addictive Skinner Box game loop. Twelve years ago, the pitch of “abstract Moebius-inspired Nier-alike heavily inspired by the works of Aphex Twin” would’ve been a slam dunk, but these days this game is gonna get lost…. unless some of you decide to challenge fate. https://store.steampowered.com/app/2022640/CALX/

Steam：CALX

ワープに汚染された惑星、サイロを駆け抜けろ。シーカーとしての動きを極めよ。ダブルジャンプ、ダッシュ、浮遊、グラップリングを駆使して進むは雰囲気漂う遺跡群。スキャンを実行し、謎を解きつつ、静寂と熱狂が押し寄せる緻密な戦闘に挑め。

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

SNIPER DAN: one of your friends or coworkers has a nine year old who will be obsessed with a bad Roblox knock-off of this game that lets you actually kill the townspeople. You debate explaining why this is Bad to his parents, but doesn’t that smack of “violence in video games” fearmongering? And are they really gonna care if you frame it as an issue of artistic integrity? They’re probably dealing with enough right now as parents. Jesus, when did you get so *old?* https://store.steampowered.com/app/2841650/Sniper_Dan/

Sniper Dan on Steam

Sniper Dan is a ridiculous, family-friendly 3D Hidden Object game with a big twist. Use a high-powered sniper rifle to solve low-stakes problems. Scope the scene, spot the problem, and shoot the solution. No violence. Just wholesome chaos and good intentions!

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

At the earliest opportunity you try and sit this kid down in front of Sniper Dan, an all-ages, nonviolent hidden-image mischief simulator, to sell them on the real deal. No dice. The kid immediately takes aim at the bulbous Playmobil heads of the humans capering around in the game’s diorama and pulls the trigger, one after the other. BANG. A window washer. BANG. A hot dog vendor. BANG. A woman riding a bike. Their heavy breaths whistle through their nose as their eyes stay nailed to the screen.

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

The game doesn’t give them any satisfaction for this, no crit noise, no cranial firework of gore, and yet they remain fixated on their grim task. Now you KNOW you’re gonna have to talk to their parents about this, and there’s nothing a parent wants to hear less than a childless person telling them how they should be raising their kid.

Maybe it’s fine if you don’t. It’s probably fine, right?

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

HYPNOS: Jacob Geller will make a 45-minute long video about this, either alone or as part of an essay on megastructures in gaming. Citing both the works of Tsutomu Nihei and H.P. Lovecraft, this game’s two most obvious influences, he’ll draw some sort of parallel between this game and our postmodern culture’s isolation, trapped as we are within massive structures of inscrutable, ineffable authority. It’ll be a great watch! However, no one you know will play this game. https://store.steampowered.com/app/2861210/HYPNOS/

HYPNOS on Steam

HYPNOS is a first-person adventure and exploration game, set in a lovecraftian megastructure fever dream. Enter the Nameless City at the edge of Dreams. Follow the trail into the shadow of the Holy Mountain. Embrace your destiny.

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

PHONOPOLIS: There are going to be people who loudly proclaim they will never, ever buy Zero Parades, not in a million years, but will sing the praises of this game's thoughtful puzzles and charming cardboard-crafted world. Make no mistake, however, these people are the REAL fake communists. This game demo has some of the most dumbfuck-blatant RETVRN-ass ideology this prophetess has seen in a game to date. Sucks that it's in a game that looks this good, but there you go. https://store.steampowered.com/app/1206070/Phonopolis/

Phonopolis on Steam

Phonopolis is a story-driven puzzle adventure set in a hand-painted 3D world made of cardboard. Solve a wide variety of playful puzzles and help Felix end the Leader's oppressive influence in a resonant dystopian city inspired by avant-garde art.

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

LUNA ABYSS: Hey, speaking of megastructures! Shortly after this game comes out, a smut artist you follow will become intensely, feverishly obsessed with one of the little prison planet freaks in this game. They will draw so much wacky pornography of this obscure character, both in-universe and in their own AUs, that it will blot out the internet's collective knowledge of its gameplay or plot. The devs won't know what to do with this.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/1933000/Luna_Abyss/

Steam：Luna Abyss

Luna Abyssは、プラットフォームと銃弾地獄の戦闘が満載のシングルプレイヤーで楽しめるストーリー駆動型アクションアドベンチャーゲーム。謎の預言と実刑に巻き込まれたルナの囚人Fawkesの旅を体験せよ。

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

PHEW, that's enough prophecies for today. We're in the home stretch! If I do any more of these I'm probably only gonna do one-- demos I have downloaded but haven't touched yet include The Mermaid Mask, Parasite Mutant, Jenny The Witch, Boost Vector EX, and Butler Guillotine. Again, if you know of any other interesting Next Fest demos you want me to pierce the veil between tomorrow and today for, lemme know 🔮

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 28

more prophecies coming soon, but i did get to play the Hellslinger demo, and i can confirm it fucking rips. doom sickos rejoice

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 28

nothing it does mechanically is like "whoa shit" or anything, but it's a real slick looking, modern comic book-shaded game for running in GZDoom. also while you're shooting demons with your old west guns your player character occasionally hisses stuff like "KICK THE BUCKET ALREADY" or "IT FEELS GOOD TO KICK ASS". so like. perfect. no notes. love it

the illustrious IRIS JAY Mar 2

COUGH COUGH HACK WHEEZE. These oracular fumes gettin DANK in here. Time to wrap up this Steam Next Fest prediction thread, I have played SO many demos and I feel like I’ve sucked Apollo’s generous boon of 100% accurate foresight straight down to the dregs. Let’s get ON with it

Rockario Feb 28

@irisjaycomics Improv game where you are given a vague character and then have to voice lines as if they were an FPS player character.

mastodon quixote Feb 27

@irisjaycomics i haven't watched a single one of these trailers but i devoured this incredible thread

Gwyn 😈Feb 26

@irisjaycomics damn Amanita Design why would you do this to me -_-

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

@lunalapin "Only the old and beautiful can save us now!" The way my fuckin eyes bugged out of my head at this line

Perfect Butterfly Angel Feb 26

@irisjaycomics honestly this doesn't surprise me but it does make me sad

@irisjaycomics Oh fuck this looks awesome

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

@srol the dev of this game won a lot of praise for their previous title Blackshard, which appears to be more of similar! https://store.steampowered.com/app/3223390/BLACKSHARD/

BLACKSHARD on Steam

BLACKSHARD is a first-person exploration game. Wander through a strange megastructure, the Labyrinth, to unravel its mysteries... Your behavior within the Labyrinth will define the outcome of your journey. What path will you choose to take?

@irisjaycomics now I know why this looks familiar, I played the demo of this years ago. I got to check it out

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

@srol yeahhh!!!

[F4G] KMFTM Feb 26

@irisjaycomics This is reminding me a lot of Paradise Killer

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

@ray ....actually YEAH, that IS a pretty close comparison now that i think about it,

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

@ray i have no idea if Hypnos involves you becoming an Investigation Freak later, but your player character does have a big-ass gun he can only use in dialogue scenes, so who's to say

Swift (will be at EMF)Feb 27

@irisjaycomics @ray I was already interested, now I'm positively vibrating (and barely suppressing typing this in allcaps).

Kit Redgrave Feb 26

@irisjaycomics well, now i'm going to play it so someone you know (however distantly) has :p

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

@kit what the!!! the threads of fate..... unraveling before my very eyes!!! lemme know how it is :3

Kit Redgrave Feb 26

@irisjaycomics my first impressions from the demo: poorly optimized, but beautiful, and the devs do seem to love dark souls

Gwyn 😈Feb 27

@irisjaycomics it's me i'm gonna be the idiot playing this on my own holy shit i'm enthralled by this demo

det (θΔ)Feb 26

@irisjaycomics the rare densha de go mention on my feed what a time to be alive

Vx. Princess "size_t queen" Grace

@irisjaycomics wild to see the description start with "Capcom’s newest IP"

@irisjaycomics Yesssss thank you for this thread, also thank you for reminding me to grab the Titanium Court demo ASAP!! It looks so good hahaha

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

@renkotsuban thanks! My partner is already VERY very into it, so one part of my prediction came true at least, lol

FEATURED SINGER Feb 26

@irisjaycomics there will be a strong cultural impact among a specific demographic and it will be unremarkable to any others

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

@turntechcatfish i imagine if you wish to be a small girl android carried on the back of a big galoot, it will be good, but i'm guessing there are many easier ways to get that rush than this game's odd approach to shooting and doing hacking minigames at the same time

Taz the pika Feb 26

@irisjaycomics Awaysis, Bombun, Petal Crash 2, and, just for you, Antivirus Survivors 2003 Professional.

@irisjaycomics 868-BACK is really difficult, but Michael Brough's game design is always incredible

Futamoder Feb 26

@irisjaycomics this thing looks utterly incomprehensible from the outside but once I realised what the gameplay loop actually was and what it was doing I literally leaned back in my chair and went "ohhhhhhhh my godddddddddd" out loud

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 26

@steb Once You See It, You Will Shit Bricks

Perfect Butterfly Angel Feb 25

@irisjaycomics I think it's gonna be really, really funny when the game made by a bunch of desperate people trying to claim they are THE REAL DISCO ELYSIUM because the shithead finbros in charge of their company stole the ip are doomed to medicority because regardless of if their game was good or not nobody can stop comparing their game to disco Elysium, which is one of the greatest games ever made, period

At least, that's my prediction

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 25

@junebug this is really the main issue. no game is gonna be As Good As Disco, and the large part of that is because Disco came into being in a world where Disco didn't yet exist. it's the catalyst for an entire zeitgeist, of course it's always going to stand head and shoulders above every other title it spawns. if ZA/UM wanted to avoid this they would've made, idk, a pick-three card battler or something as their next title

the illustrious IRIS JAY Feb 25

@junebug we're also going to be in the annoying situation of, like. TECHNICALLY Zero Parades has writing that's better than like at least 90% of other AA games out there. but is it as GOOD as Disco, or is it too pandering? are its references to ideology actual artistic statements, or is this the hand of the market puppeting the studio's corpse? the problem is that it genuinely might be the most thought-provoking game we're gonna get all year, just... not in the way ZA/UM probably wants...

GoodNewsGreyShoes🔞(on hiatus)Feb 26

@irisjaycomics @junebug

"Fuck, that game was extremely thought provoking."😳

"That good, eh?"🤔

"What? No, no no no, ha, wow - no."😌