Alice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24

my roommate's new Microsoft Surface Hub is running a wacky version of Windows 10 that popped up a "You need to download something from the store to support this file!" message when I tried to run a win64 exe.

HOW DO YOU MAKE A WINDOWS THAT DOESN'T SUPPORT RUNNING EXES?

Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24
that's an insult to computing, you glorified program loader
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24
and this is an x86 computer here, not some weird ARM nonsense.
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24
it's running "Windows 10 Team edition", a very specific and weird SKU
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24

It's the most infuriating and useless version of Windows I've ever used.

and for context I've recreationally run Windows ME before. My autobiography is being written on Windows 95.

Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24

It's my roommate's Surface Hub. It's a 3 or 2S, we're not 100% sure yet.

https://digipres.club/@gewt@treehouse.systems/116122905249248331

Simulacra of a girl (@[email protected])

Attached: 1 image surface hub

Treehouse Mastodon
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24
we are currently trying to update it into usefulness
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24
It's a whole different interface to Windows, very mobile-like. You can get File Explorer but it can't view stuff outside your home dir and external drives. There's no windows->run and seemly no task manager on ctrl-alt-delete
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24

oh and it uses a tiling window manager.

here's a video showing the UI:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9nAwiS-m_4

Windows 10 Team Edition Demo!

YouTube
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24
We're feature updatin'
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24
the official MS docs say that the way you get into UEFI on this one-button device is that you turn it on using the power button, then when it boots, you turn it off again, then turn it on again
repeat until it goes into uefi
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24

and when you're using the recovery tool, you have to stay in the room

cause it'll go to sleep if there aren't any people in the room, and that'll interrupt the download

Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24
Well we updated enough that it knows it's fucked
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24
The first option it gives you is "buy a newer one"
The second option is "use the automatic update" which hasn't worked for three months
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24

the manual update says you should get two 32gb flash drives.

the first drive will have the Microsoft Teams Rooms on Windows (an environment built on Windows 11 IoT) recovery ISO

and the other 32gb flash drive will contain a 3 kilobyte certificate file

Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24
I'm gonna stick the cert on a floppy disk and see if that works
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24
I should have a USB paper tape reader. 3k isn't too long on tape
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24
also if it turns out Microsoft has somehow broken USB floppy drive support on this 9k$ paperweight I'm going to drive up to redmond with a hammer and take apart their HQ brick by brick
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24

okay I was wrong, it doesn't just need a 3kb certificate file, you have to use another app to build a DFI update image from that.

so it needs a 15kb file

Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 25
The file is on a disk now
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 25
And I've got an iMac flavored floppy drive to read it with
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 25
And we're installed! Apparently the UEFI on this thing does indeed support USB floppies!
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 25
Dang it. The floppy was fine, but it's not happy with my 32gb usb drive
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️
huh. I was looking at the UEFI settings and they put "occupancy sensor" under "Radio".
It's not a camera?
Feb 25 at 1:50amWeb
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 25
there's a recovery image from Microsoft I'm downloading through the Windows 11 Tool but it's downloading at like 0.1 millibytes per slow
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 25
tried again, and I think it finally stalled out at 20.39gb of 22.16gb
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 25
that was like two hours of downloading ;_;
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 25
and there's no resume
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 25

"If the device was unplugged or experienced an abrupt power outage or pulled power cord, wait at least 15 seconds before attempting to boot from USB."

what?

Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 25
does the USB stack not come up in the first 15 seconds of power on?
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 25
AHHHHHHH IT STOPPED AT 21 OF 22GB
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 25
I finally got a version of the recovery disk downloaded, and it boots.
It tries to recover to a version of windows 10 that's not terribly useful, but I think now that I have a working recovery disk, I can munge that disk into a windows 11 recovery disk
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 25
hey microsoft you could have made this migration go a lot smoother if you'd just told your recovery-image-generating-tool how to make win11 disks
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 25
wait can I just lie to it that I have a Surface Hub 3 and it'll do that?
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 25
NOPE it tries to give me MTR
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 26
updating this thing is mainly a nightmare because the only updates I've managed to at all get working are the ones from the Surface IT Tool and it can't download most of the images because microsoft is storing the images on a server that someone reboots every 10 minutes or something
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 26
microsoft, you know that resuming HTTP downloads has been a solved problem since, uh, 1997?
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 26
It's a 22gb file and it can go as fast as half a gigabit/s but it keeps just hanging at like 14gb in. Your only option is to cancel and try again, which starts from byte 0
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 26
they mention this might be a problem in one of the many FAQs, and they recommend you fix it by getting better internet
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 26
I should MITM myself and see if I can figure out where it's downloading these files, and just curl it
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 26

got it.

https://surfacerecoverytool.download.prss.microsoft.com/dbazure/download/SurfaceHub3_BMR_155000_2023.815.94.zip

Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 26
I'd be tempted to launch my win95 VM ad use GetRight to download it, but I imagine it'd have some issues with TLS and certificates and such
Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 26

oh right I need to install TCP/IP onto my windows 95 machine first

lemme find my win95 floppies

Show threadAlice Averlong🏳️‍⚧️Feb 26
Nah, MS won't let you download the file over HTTP, and this version of GetRight from 1997 doesn't support HTTPS.
Show threadRue MohrFeb 26
@foone wrap it in another vm that uses a man-in-the-middle security filter.
Show threadGreglyFeb 26
@foone Oh man, GetRight! Core memory unlocked!
Show threadoscillikFeb 26
@foone Have you tried asking Copilot?
Show threadJohn Carlsen 🇺🇸🇳🇱🇪🇺Feb 26
@foone can you download it using curl ?
Show threadGeorge Liquor, AmericanFeb 26
@foone Guess they should've acquired GetRight
Show threadRyanFeb 26
@foone the download knows where it is at all times. It knows this because it knows where it isn't.
Show threadI AM BANKSY ☕ / 🗑‍🔥Feb 26
@foone CC: Google Takeout
Show threadRaptor Feb 26

@foone a constant problem on my work computers, they're forced to send all their traffic through zscaler for "security" which caps it at about the speed of around 1 megabit with constant dropped packets (because though they're expensive as hell their servers suck) The microsoft stuff is always failing and completely restarting downloads instead of resuming (you can force a resume manually on sharepoint at least, but it won't try automatically!)

How anyone uses their stuff by choice I don't know

Show threadDazzaFeb 27
@foone not in a Redmond way it hasn't. BITS wasn't invented until 2001.
Show threadLP🔸Light up the nightFeb 26
@foone  . o O { Master Toot Record }
Show threadJernej Simončič �Feb 25
@foone Hint: try holding down Ctrl while it's booting up (after the spinner is displayed), that should give you a command prompt when WinPE boots; replace the USB with Win11 USB and run sources\setup.exe, hopefully it'll work.
Show threadzoë 🏳️‍⚧️Feb 25
@foone one must imagine sisyphus happy
Show threadende_ohneFeb 25
@foone (sad) fun fact: Microslops servers can't count over 20 GB, they always let the download crash at that amount. Also happens on business SharePoint Online and OneDrive sites. It especially sucks when some guy thought it would we better to upload 250GB raw video footage to Sharepoint instead over fast corporate VPN to the local storage server
Show threadRaven667Feb 27
@foone i call computers the "frustration machine" because for admins thats what they most frequently automate
Show threadJessie Nabein Feb 25

@foone aria2c to the rescue!

https://github.com/aria2/aria2

GitHub - aria2/aria2: aria2 is a lightweight multi-protocol & multi-source, cross platform download utility operated in command-line. It supports HTTP/HTTPS, FTP, SFTP, BitTorrent and Metalink.

aria2 is a lightweight multi-protocol & multi-source, cross platform download utility operated in command-line. It supports HTTP/HTTPS, FTP, SFTP, BitTorrent and Metalink. - aria2/aria2

GitHub
Show threadwall-eFeb 26
@foone aah just like the olden days!
Show threadFripi (DECT 3034)Feb 26
@foone lol, that is exactly what @pallenberg was describing when emptying his cloud account. Azure must have some stupid stuff in there beyond the normal. Somehow around 20gb it always breaks.
Show threadEtoneyaFeb 25
@foone all microsoft download servers are genuinely ass, i always try to make sure i have a copy of at least a windows 10 ISO on one of my servers, i really don't know how they do it...
Show threadNeko MayFeb 25
@foone That's faster than usual, they must have upgraded.
Show threadNeko MayFeb 25
@foone Those use microwave these days. You can get the modules on AliExpress.
Show threadAlex W.Feb 25
@foone It’s RADAR! I have a laptop with this feature.
Show threadCadbury MooseFeb 25

@foone

Probably for an under-desk motion detector of some kind. Used in hot-desking workspaces to track which desks are in use. (They installed them at work, then COVID happened and we all worked from home - apart from the Operations staff and a few other essential people at the datacentre.)