AI will eat most of the jobs in the next 2-5 years:

Roles at high risk:
- Professional fax cover-sheet designer
- VHS rewinder
- Medieval town crier
- Mall ninja sword tester
- Radio Shack manager
- “Have you tried turning it off and on?” Tier-1 specialist
- Blockbuster late-fee negotiator
- Corporate synergy translator
- Elevator button pusher
- Clippy emotional support specialist
- MFA enrollment apology specialist
- Dot-matrix printer paper separator
- Video store genre re-shelving specialist
- AOL trial CD distributor
- Zoom waiting-room DJ
- Hashtag optimization intern
- Office “reply-all” damage control analyst
- Legacy VPN appliance babysitter

Roles that are safe:
- Executive apology speechwriter
- Incident response finger-pointing coordinator
- Professional conference badge collector
- Lunch-and-learn sandwich reviewer
- Nation-state” attribution enthusiast
- Guy who says “let’s take this offline”
- Slack status philosopher
- Office thermostat warlord
- Chief Culture Evangelist
- Professional podcast guest who “loves what you guys are doing”
- Professional mic-not-working guy on webinars
- Office fridge passive-aggressive note author
- PowerPoint slide transition critic
- Corporate offsite trust-fall facilitator
- Professional “per my last email” drafter
- Strategic pause facilitator
- Guy who says “that’s not how attackers think” in every meeting
- AI ethics panel moderator