RE: https://beepboop.one/@Alexis/115819642062897116

#MovieThread VII: The Kino Awakens, Chapter Two — February Edition

From 2020 to 2025 I watched 2370 movies.
In January 2026 I watched another 35, for a total of 2405 movies.

This month:
* Wrapping up Fincher.
* More 1957.
* Barbra Streisand, probably.

 Previous thread:

Of the Missouri Emptymans? It's —

#36, or #2406, 2020's "The Empty Man."

My brother who doesn't like horror movies wants to see the YouTubesman's horror movie, so once again heading out into the cold to go see —

#37, or #2407, 2026's "Iron Lung."

What if I wrapped up David Fincher today, it's —

#38, or #2408, 2011's "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo."

Not in the mood to Mank, so let's instead check in with the man who so killed James Bond's sense of whimsy that Daniel Craig wasn't allowed to so much as smile in public for fifteen years, it's —

#39, or #2409, 1997's "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery."

The movie that dares to ask, what if somebody wrote 1941's "Citizen Kane" and that somebody's name was —

#40, or #2410, 2020 David Fincher picture "Mank."

Does this schtick work for a /second/ 90 minute film? Let's find out with —

#41, or #2411, 1999's "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.

RE: https://beepboop.one/@Alexis/116025006197356845

I always count these, don't I.

#42, or #2412, the 2026 Winter Olympics opening ceremony legally known as "Cerimonia di apertura dei Giochi Olimpici Invernali Milano Cortina 2026."

Leaving now to go see a movie we were gonna see earlier this week, but then I got frozen in and couldn't leave my house, so I guess it was me who had —

#43, or #2413, 2026 Park Chan-wook picture "No Other Choice."

This 1957 Best Picture nominee in which Marlon Brando learns the Japanese are people and experience racism sometimes is either a complete fucking disaster or, like, kinda progressive for its age and a little pointless today, no middle ground, either way it's two and a half hours long, it's —

#44, or #2414, 1957's "Sayonara."

My brother hasn't seen this, which is a thing that must of course be fixed, leaving now to go see a 45th anniversary screening of —

#45, or #2415, 1980's "The Shining."

RE: https://beepboop.one/@Alexis/115277978137634810

Finally finished watching, and so can now count in the thread —

#46, or #2416, 1915-1916 silent French film serial "Les Vampires."

Not seen so much as a trailer for this, but I dunno, I'll go see a zombie comedy (zombedy), leaving now to go see —

#47, or #2417, 2026's "Cold Storage."

This is the one of these I've never seen, it's —

#48, or #2418, 2002's "Austin Powers in Goldmember."

Love a big ol' stunty, confident Bond opening.

In which they're conceailing his face, because Tom Cruise is playing him, in what is presumably a movie-in-the-movie?

2002 was a weird time.

Kevin Spacey and Danny Devito as Dr Evil and Mini-Me, directed by Spielberg? I would not watch this movie?
"Dixie Normous" another solid entry ( 😉 ) into the Bond girl pastiche canon.
Man, who isn't in this. Hollywood loved Austin Powers, I guess?

"In the 70s, there lived a Dutch metallurgical hedonist by the name of Johann van der Smut."

close, you're thinking of Germany, bad try

"Fook Mi."

no, that dumb name is racist, send it back

why did they cast two separate actors to play the young Austin Powers and Dr Evil
I suppose if you've done time travel once, it's only natural that it's a plausible thing to do and keep doing again in the next one.
Goldmember does capture a certain something about a specific kind of older Dutch person, but that accent is nothing.
A weird thing English-speakers do when doing a bad Dutch accent is adding a lot of sh sounds, really slishing their eshes, which, I dunno where that comes from.

"There's only two things I can't stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other cultures... and the Dutch."

fair enough honestly

Hm. This one might be dogshit.
The first two I genuinely felt were, you know, of their time but largely in good fun, but none of this works if there's racism.

"Dr Evil's not your son! I am!"
"You both are!"

but they look nothing alike

The third act doesn't so much have "a conclusion" as it just "turns into the movie-in-the-movie"? Baffling.
These have fully run out of steam.

This one sucks!

A real step down after the first two largely enjoyable "Powers" films. Though its worst sin is just that it can’t actually think of anything new to do with all of this, it’s also racist, homophobic, and occasionally cruel.

It’s not that there aren’t good gags here, but far too much of this is just awful. I dunno what it is, maybe this just doesn’t work post-9/11.

All of it falls apart when it’s mean.

(Goldmember is just also not a Dutch person, and he really barely actually… does anything? Bad.)
@Alexis yeah as you were tooting it I was thinking "wait isn't the main villain the scottish guy, not dutch" because I completely forgot Goldmember was the name of a character who appeared in the film
@The_T Yeah, no, Fat Bastard is the Scottish villain of the second one. (Also a bad character, for the record. Too Shrek.)
@Alexis wait, maybe I didn't even see the third one

@The_T Goldmember in this is a Dutch pervert who paints his victims' dicks gold, because something something Goldfinger joke. But he never actually does anything after that concept is introduced, because you can't actually show any part of that on screen in a PG-13 comedy.

(Other stories include Scott Evil turning evil, Mini-Me turning good, Spielberg making an Austin Powers movie starring Tom Cruise. They go to Japan for racist subtitle jokes and Fat Bastard does sumo.)

@The_T Would genuinely recommend against watching it.

@Alexis ok, I do remember: Scott turning Evil, Tom Cruise, and the racist subtitle jokes

but literally none of the rest

@Alexis congrats, now that you've watched these, you can finally play this https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/12309/austin-powers-ccg
Austin Powers CCG

From the box: "Wanna shag...?" Welcome to the Austin Powers CCG, a shagadelic, multi-player gaming experience. This cheeky little box contains two 30-card pre-constructed decks ready to play. Collect all 140 groovy cards from "The Spy Who Shagged Me" depicting your favorite characters, scenes and quotes from the movie. Choose cards from your collection to customize your own smashing decks and have a swinging good time with a bunch of your friends. Oh, Behave!

BoardGameGeek
@The_T The picture on BGG of a box of it in an active fireplace probably answers my question of if it's actually any good.
@Alexis I also think there might have only been one set based on the first film. Like the plan was probably do expansions for the other 2 but then it got cancelled