LightWhy are so many LGBT people such utter scumbags?
RE: https://ak.vern.cc/objects/fef4435a-0d4e-4d5c-b392-a6c66dd88de3
🌱🏴🅰️🏳️⚧️🐧🔧📎 AmbiyelpThe "force" in forcefem is a contextual shorthand, it does not literally mean force. It is about encouragement and vulnerability not abuse.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminization_(sexual_activity)
@ambiguous_yelp
Oh, so it's consensual? Why don't they just say that then?! It's like they are trying to disturb people's minds on purpose.
My opinion has changed. I don't approve of kinks and I'm ashamed of the ones I have, but I respect people's liberty to consensually engage in them if they so choose.
@light Whats wrong with kinks in general?
@ambiguous_yelp
Cruelty and domination are corrosive to the soul.
Cruelty and domination are corrosive to the soul.
So you're just talking about S&M (Sadomasochism) kinks then not all kinks?
In that case, S&M can be practised consensually and safely, the notion that all S&M is abusive is a deep misunderstanding of the trust and communication involved.
Staying safe, (including mental health) and consensual while practising more dangerous kinks like S&M kinks is almost always at the center of every kink community I've come across
I'm not denying that people use S&M as an excuse to abuse people or that there are even spaces that excuse and glorify it, but that is not what S&M is about, people I've met in kink spaces IME are actually better at consent than non-kinky people.
For example there is a misconception that domination is something that just sort of sign up for with a random person who can immediately step over your boundaries and call it kink, that couldnt be further from the truth, domination is a delicate and trust-based relationship where in actuality the sub has all the control
CyS&M can be practised consensually and safely
Can it, though? People can actually get hurt when you sadistically dominate them, and masochists can hurt themselves. And many people injure themselves as a coping mechanism, something they stop when they get actual love and support.
And as you say, some people use domination as an excuse to abuse people. Do their victims realize and understand this? Has an abuse victim ever fought to protect their abuser, to deny that anything is wrong? There certainly are ...somewhat healthy S&M relationships, but you have to admit it's much more complicated and hairy than treating people with kindness and respect.
There's also the problem of normalization of violence. Once you have an elaborate fantasy of people born into submission, and paraded around in bondage by a world that accepts this and enforces anyone who tries to escape, people actually start wanting this to happen. It's like violent video games except you're actually beating people up. I have to be a little 😬 at that.
Personally I'm of the opinion that we shouldn't be such big babies and complain that what people want is scary and mean, but we also should be very careful before approving of it, and I'm definitely worried about its growing prevalence. People are copying what they see that turns them on, and we are seeing a lot of bondage, domination, sadism and masochism these days.
I mean arguably the more loudly we complain and attack weird sexual deviants, the kinkier everyone gets, because nothing makes you a sexual freak more than lifelong suppression of your natural urges. So I'd say less restriction, but less um... approval? If I want to interfere in someone's relationship, I'm going to make damn sure that there's something actually wrong. But I'm still going to encourage people to have sex kindly. It's healthy to not want to hurt yourself, and not want to find vulnerable people to hurt.
CC: @[email protected]
Can it, though? People can actually get hurt when you sadistically dominate them, and masochists can hurt themselves. And many people injure themselves as a coping mechanism, something they stop when they get actual love and support.
And as you say, some people use domination as an excuse to abuse people. Do their victims realize and understand this? Has an abuse victim ever fought to protect their abuser, to deny that anything is wrong? There certainly are ...somewhat healthy S&M relationships, but you have to admit it's much more complicated and hairy than treating people with kindness and respect.
There's also the problem of normalization of violence. Once you have an elaborate fantasy of people born into submission, and paraded around in bondage by a world that accepts this and enforces anyone who tries to escape, people actually start wanting this to happen. It's like violent video games except you're actually beating people up. I have to be a little 😬 at that.
Personally I'm of the opinion that we shouldn't be such big babies and complain that what people want is scary and mean, but we also should be very careful before approving of it, and I'm definitely worried about its growing prevalence. People are copying what they see that turns them on, and we are seeing a lot of bondage, domination, sadism and masochism these days.
I mean arguably the more loudly we complain and attack weird sexual deviants, the kinkier everyone gets, because nothing makes you a sexual freak more than lifelong suppression of your natural urges. So I'd say less restriction, but less um... approval? If I want to interfere in someone's relationship, I'm going to make damn sure that there's something actually wrong. But I'm still going to encourage people to have sex kindly. It's healthy to not want to hurt yourself, and not want to find vulnerable people to hurt.
CC: @[email protected]
No approval-no disapproval policies are just disapproval with extra steps.
Yes S&M practises can be dangerous, so can vanilla straight sex, or bungee jumping or alcohol or weed.
Individuals don't always make the best choices for themselves or others but by framing that as intrinsically the fault of S&M you're moralizing an amoral activity and painting with broad strokes over the numerous well documented safe and consensual practices
Sadism also comes with mental health risks one of which is "dom drop", a feeling of guilt after a scene for hurting someone they care about, doms need aftercare just as much as subs
Some of your arguments sound similar to arguments of "cultural degeneration" that sexual deviants are becoming too unashamed and their inherently harmful practices are leaking out into "polite society"
Either S&M is fundamentally abusive in which case we should oppose it unambiguously, or it is not intrinsically abusive and the problems you're talking about have a deeper root cause that we should focus on rather than villainising people practicing safe and consensual sex
Sure, you shouldn't trust me. I'm just saying what I think, not that I expect anyone to listen to me. Personally, there have been plenty of things I consented to that I heavily regretted, whether sexual or not. And there are plenty of ways to oppose abuse that are themselves abusive and exploitative. Also I haven't seen any documentation. (how would you even document that?) So it's way more dangerous to oppose anything unambiguously than the thing itself. Nothing here is black and white, and you don't have to decide either to hate all kinks, or to embrace them all with loving arms. There is a middle ground here.
Whatever you're doing, you clearly don't regret, so don't stop doing it. I do think making a bad choice about whether to stop and look at a flower is inherently less sketchy than making a bad choice about whether to flog someone for disobedience, but moralizing or amoral or whatever I dunno. Do what you like, and if it hurts someone then fuck you. Do better next time.
Whatever you're doing, you clearly don't regret, so don't stop doing it. I do think making a bad choice about whether to stop and look at a flower is inherently less sketchy than making a bad choice about whether to flog someone for disobedience, but moralizing or amoral or whatever I dunno. Do what you like, and if it hurts someone then fuck you. Do better next time.