I'm autistic.
Nine people texted me yesterday and triggered me. It took me 11 ish hours to calm down.
Two texted me on linkedin where I cannot delete their messages; so I had to block them,
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#neurodiverse #abusesurvivor #mentalhealth #depression #blackmentalhealth #blackautistic #blackmastodon
otherwise I might accidentally read them. One had group imaged me with words. One had texted me a second time after we had been talking for 7 years and I had just reminded them not to. The 5th I hadn't realized I could insert TxImg before their name in my phone
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to ensure that I'd always remind them going forward.
I explained to these that it had been great being in contact with them; but now I had to protect myself from being triggered again and block them and that it was nothing to do with them; but all to do with the autism.
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I inserted TxImg before the names of the remaining four.
I was raped as a child. My brother told me that people will think I'm looking for sympathy. I'm not looking for sympathy. My mind is protecting me from the experience by making me have a bad memory;
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so I'll soon forget the above.
Family encouraged me to do voluntary work when I was young. In Hong Kong I became a Samaritan listening to the depressed and suici***. Social media doesn't respond well to the second concept. Those thoughts entered me as secondary trauma.
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I have considered all the ways to do so and most involve pain or lying and neither appeal to me; so such thoughts quickly pass. I explained the above to my therapist and she is happy with that.
I failed my ex by not being authentic; so I decided that
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I would always be authentic going forward. So that when I meet my next someone, I'm already authentic.
The above is shared for different reasons. One is to be authentic. Another is because things like the above are not discussed openly enough in society.
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Another is that it might encourage someone somewhere to speak to someone. I'm autistic, so i'm not always aware of all the reasons in one moment.
If this makes you uncomfortable, don't report me. Just stop following me because I'm not going to stop talking about these things.
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Audubon Ballroon (he/him)