Mastodawn

It's definitely a combination of two feelings that I suspect are somewhat vain but also somewhat accurate:

- "Oh, if I was a little louder the cool kids would know about me."
- "Actually, the cool kids _do_ know about me, but they're quietly avoiding me."

These together have the appearance of covering all territory -- in fact, they're kind of contradictory.

I'll be okay -- my sadness level isn't _that_ high -- but for now it's just a little raw.

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Zrephel

@pyrex @anthracite

Very reminiscent of the double-bind my depressionbrain is fond of ensnaring me in: "Either this shitty situation is all my fault and my suffering is earned and deserved, or it's outside of my control and I have no recourse to remedy this unjust suffering I'm being subjected to."