D. OlifantMy #Monsterdon posts for the Asphyx will be in this thread.
It's nice to hear a nice orchestral opening in a movie.
TOO LONG CARRIAGE RIDE I'M ALREADY BORED HURRY UP ALREADY
21st century attention span
Didn't a car crash at the beginning? Did I imagine that?
I'm just going to assume I hallucinated the car crash.
But I suspect according to his calculations, there's an excellent chance they can capture ghosts and hold them, indefinitely.
And this takes place before the EPA, so Walter Peck can't fuck up all the ghost-busting--
Sorry, wrong movie.
I'm reminded of Suzie Eddie Izzard once jesting that English movies are just people opening and closing doors.
Whoa, weird edit jump to Victorian cuddling on the banks of the.... stream? Is that a stream?
You have to die here so he can record your death. Checkhov's ghost camera.
Most unsurprising reveal ever about to happen, though I realize you're all about 2 minutes ahead of me somehow. I think it's because I reversed to see if he'd promised to capture a ghost and hold it indefinitely like Egon Spangler.
"The smudge!"
"What is it? It moved!"
When the mad scientist begs you to help him with his corpse-related project, you say YES!
Spiraling into mad science really quickly.
Oh, this is the part where I should tell you I thought I'd watch this on the big TV, on my Apple TV, so I installed the Tubi app, and now I'm also treated to AD BREAKS, so this is an ad break everyone. I look forward to resuming another 1.5 minutes behind everyone.
You can't even skip through the ads. But you can mute them.
"You can make me watch, but you can't make me listen."
This has been a pointless interruption in this thread while I wait for more Asphyx.... oh here we go.
Oh, Checkhov's Unpreventable Hanging will require Checkhov's Camera.
"I see little point in photographing--"
Wait, you couldn't wait to photograph dead people before.
This is like 'The Reluctant Mad Scientist' trope.
Fuck yeah, it's time for the hanging and the promised death muppet (yes, I looked ahead at the feed)
Wait, why did the glowy orb show up? That didn't happen before. Or was that only visible through the camera?
Checkhov's glowy orb?
Well, he's definitely getting the elements of a ghostbusting kit together.
So what is the Asphyx doing exactly that requires him stopping it?
I still haven't seen the death muppet.
But he's poisoning a rat for the rat asphyx test, I guess.
Aha! I knew it! A ghost containment system! And a ghost trap.
If there be something odd
In your countryside
Who will you contact?
Asphyx-Capturers!
Commercial break. Or time for another monster hit, your choice.
To be fair, this is basically the premise of a lich in D&D.
You capture the soul and put it in a phylactery and become unkillable. You're also a gruesome corpse.
JK-Shall-Not-Be-Named stole the idea in that book about wizards, too.
I get the part about the car crash at the beginning and the whole "This man is still alive!" bit now, though.
Ahh, kill the dying man, create phylactery, and immortality awaits.
I feel like my 21st century attention span sees the payoff coming a LONG MILE AWAY now, so let's just get there, please.
This man is basically like, "I'm at peace with death. Please bury me nicely."
And they are like, "Yeah, um, but Mad Science."
Wait, why did he burn his face with acid?
Mad Scientist is gonna need a crazy wicked scar for the climax of this movie. Whatever it is.
I love you, guinea pig.
What do you call the process by which you're 'immortalized'?
....Asphyx-iation.
Ba-dum-tish.
Did he just ask "are there enough death crystals?"
Electric chair for your death was a....choice.
"We must cross the streams for him to survive!"
I'll just keep doing Victorian ghostbuster metaphors until they stop working.
"If I tell you, you must promise to forget everything I've said."
And you call yourself a (mad) scientist.
I see a flaw in your plan. It requires two people to carry that box down those stairs with a breakable glass thingie on top and if Checkhov's daughter hadn't shown up, you'd have been trying to carry his death muppet downstairs yourself.
You barely managed with two of you! Get more accomplices next time!
This is clearly your first attempt, jeez.
"That the experiment required two pairs of hands was an oversight that could have proven fatal!"
Ha, exactly. You're the sensible one of the bunch.
"Hi, so, we'd like to kill you, but it's okay, we'll capture your death muppet and then you'll be immortal--"
"It's wrong! None of us were meant to be immortal!"
Hey, you can just break the glass any time you want, and a good earthquake or supervolcano would probably do the trick eventually--
I like how he's come up with this elaborate plan to prevent himself from ever opening the combination lock that holds his asphyx.... like when you're tired of eternal life, too bad, you forgot the combination. The property is now under a parking lot....
Wait, he sleeps inside a coffin inside the area with the combination lock and--
This is feeling more lich-ly by the second. Or maybe vampiric, but there's a Victorian phylactery involved, so I'm going lich.
Oh, I see the coffin was "let's try to kill you via various means to test you're really immortal"
It can't go wrong, until it does.
"You must allow me to immortalize you"
"But I'm scared--"
"Unless you overcome your fears there will be no marriage."
"I'll not allow you to force her into anything!"
I mean the scar was really superfluous, we knew who the mad scientist was all along.
This dude is really acting like someone you'd like to hang around with forever, huh?
"I am not tired, merely impatient!"
You slept in an airtight coffin, motherfucker. This is not healthy behavior.
Back after another commercial break and my homeboy--the dubious 'good guy' of this movie, vs. our mad scientist, is testing a guillotine because they just keep trying to kill people in new ways and doing it differently every time?
THAT'S SCIENCE!
Still probably smarter than "electrocute yourself while requiring the use of your hand to turn the thingie"
Oh no "We've made sure that nothing can go wrong."
You can sorta un-electrocute a person or at least turn off the electricity, you can't un-behead them
Ohhhhh guinea pig, nooooo! Hhahahaha!!
To be fair, good guy, you signed onto this ridiculous death method.
Oh, let's kill ourselves via a third method, to add the aspect of randomness to this Science that is so characteristic of its true nature.
He tampered with the 'death crystals' so this should be interesting...
Okay, I take it back. That was kinda actually science.
HAHAHA, this IS a Lich movie!
I've got to say, making guinea pigs live forever is pretty cool, though, their lifespans are too short.
Solarbird 
@oli We replaced your magic blue emitter with Folger's Crystals. Can they tell the difference?