some dog

Not to over-share but I don't have an outlet for this on my main fedi profile so I guess I'll post it here

My relationship to the whole "being a dog" thing is so weird? I wish I either cared more OR less about it. I wish I didn't like, psych myself out of thinking that this is a way I want to identify myself, or a way I want to be treated. Or I wish I didn't want it in the first place? I think I WANT to be a dog but there's a part of me that can't see myself that way and I legitimately 1) don't know how to get over that mental friction, and 2) don't know how to talk about it to people that won't either blindly give me what I want OR call me crazy for wanting it

I dunno. Identity is hard. I wish I could shortcut to the end lol

Nov 21 at 7:47amWeb
Show threadsome dogNov 21
I'm not sure if anyone that sees this even wants to engage with this conversation because I'm not sure how even to have it but God it would be nice to hear outside opinions
Show threadKochNov 21
@pixel I've been in a similar spot before, I can't push you in either direction but I will say that personally I found immersing myself and suspending my disbelief to act out falling in either direction helped me find out which I really wanted.
Show threadsome dogNov 21
@Koch That's a good heuristic I think but the issue I think lies in the gulf between what i want and what i think is like, possible? Not in a literal sense but more in a metaphysical sense. It's hard to articulate fully
Show threadDesireeNov 23
@pixel A bit late, but in my experience, "Am I an X?" is not terribly useful for figuring out furry and/or therian identity. A much better question for me was, "If I could be any sort of creature, what would my ideal me be?" We are sadly human, often despite ourselves, so I think furry identity is a way to idealize the self outside of that, to some extent.
Show threadsome dogNov 23

@desiree oh I agree for sure, and the answer to that is categorically a dog. The rub comes from the metaphysical friction in that, most therians I've seen seem to feel/talk like that's what they've always been or what they fundamentally are, and for me I think it's different? I don't think I *am* a dog per se so much as I just really wish I were one.

I think a lot of it is guilt from that, to some extent, in feeling like I shouldn't want that or can't be that, maybe? I have so many thoughts about it lmao

Show threadDesireeNov 23
@pixel I mean, I consider myself Therian and also have zero belief in a metaphysical aspect. I am *unfortunately* human, but in an ideal world, I intrinsically *know* my ideal shape--the shape my brain would be most comfy with--to be an anthro dormouse. It's weird, but I accept that about myself, and enjoy affirmation in that vein because it genuinely feels like body positivity to me.