As someone who sits in on those calls as a sales engineer, I wish I could interrupt the weird kabuki dance of all this and say “These guys are clearly not a fit and we are all wasting time.”

But I have bills and honestly I’m probably commenting here because I checked out as soon as the screenshare started and I could turn my camera off without anyone noticing.

Please don’t ask me anything because I’ll just say you broke up and I need you to repeat the question so I can bullshit an answer.

• waiting 20 minutes for your PC to boot all the corporate bloatware before it’s usable

This is the bane of my existence. And of course IT locks us out of the UEFI so we can’t set the system to auto-boot 15 minutes before we show up to work.

I’m just happy I was able to remove OneDrive from the start-up applications. Now I don’t have to waste an hour each day waiting for files to sync

I thought I’d love a job like this, and it was fine, for a while.

But you can feel yourself stagnating and you know that when they eventually make you redundant you’d struggle to get another job because you spent too long coasting.

I left it for a job at a startup, much more engaging but also much more work

My job isn’t this bad but has the occasional pointless company meeting and the like. I’m fine with it - it’s their money they’re wasting. I do not look to my employer for meaning - I like the team I work with but I’ve no love for the work. I’m good at it and try to find joy in it where I can, but it is not my primary source of personal validation.

It’s a pretty comfortable life. I’ve worked for myself before and it was much harder in every way with nowhere near the pay.

Going on 22 days waiting for a firewall rule change so I can pull containers from the enterprise GitHub enlistment.

I’ve had discussions with 4 different OUs. Not one of them has been able to tell me why the firewall is different for this VM. There is no way for me to see the state of each and compare.

My big company just did a full RTO mandate after t years full WFH since COVID started. It quickly swung from a good enjoyable job with plenty of work able to be done during all the bullshit meetings to an open office cubicle farm nightmare with harsh bright lights, tons of noise and distractions, and having to physically move from home to office and from desk to meeting room on different floors all the time eating up every last second of available time to do my ACTUAL job. And we are doing a bastardized version of Scrum and it’s miserable.

I got reprimanded one day because in our daily standup I simply said that I had not made any progress on my tasks since yesterday because I was in meetings all day. Apparently that wasn’t being a team player.

I’m loving work from home. The ability to do whatever during dull meetings, work through lunch on something interesting because you had lunch during the all staff meeting

Have the radio on even

I can’t count the number of coffees I’ve made during stand-up

My company used to do SAFe, which is supposed to be “scalable agile”. By “scalable”, they mean you take up half a sprint every quarter to do a big waterfall plan.

Too many in management believed their jobs depended on keeping this system. We slowly whittled them away until we stopped doing it entirely. Whatever you might think about “Extreme Programming” or “Agile” being primarily a way to sell books and overpriced training seminars, SAFe is only that. It has no other purpose.