phew thank god this narration is here to explain why there is football happening #monsterdon

what the fuck kind of environmentalist football team is this #monsterdon

narration: "my dad always used to say, on earth we have perfectly normally sized animals, no giant versions of animals anywhere. but man's greed will cause the animals to grow giant and become very mad about that."
#monsterdon

oh wow it's the nightmare i have every time i go backpacking in a real movie except the giant mosquitos don't drain me flat as a pancake #monsterdon

PR guy has no useful skills for resisting a giant mosquito draining, unlike our 150 pound, 45 year old all-american slabs of tackling and blocking over here #monsterdon

the giant animals are just all here already and everyone is just fine with that except the football guys. is this like the wicker man where the moral of the story is "dont go to other places and disrepect the local customs" #monsterdon

"why don't you go back to the tiny chickened place ya came from" #monsterdon

how is not everyone on this island already gigantic. surely one person would have tried it, and then if one person is a giant, you can't very well remain not being a giant yourself #monsterdon

what does football have to do with all the giant animals #monsterdon

ok now go back and tell everyone about the giant chickens because holy shit there are giant chickens and a food that makes things giant over there and that seems important for people to know #monsterdon

shh bro you're blowing your cover in what other circumstance would you ask someone if they have seen anything big #monsterdon

so it makes everything big by just doing a global linear scaling of all tissues, including tissues whose material properties change with volume scaling like exoskeletons and membranes and stuff. so that's why the maggots are so tough, their normally very squashable skins are now hard as bone from being scaled 100x #monsterdon

so that would mean that each individual hair follicle would be scaled as well, and rather than being a large mouse with same-size fur, it would be a giant mouse shooting out big rope-width hairs that would impair the normal utility of hair, so eventually all giant mammals should lose all their hair because their extra-thick skins should provide insulation anyway #monsterdon

hang on who is this guy and why does he employ a personal bacteriologist? #monsterdon

lady why don't you put the lid on your fucking food that makes things fucking giant #monsterdon

bacteriologist, picking up a hand full of slime: "there's nothing like this" #monsterdon

listen up football champ, when you go back to the island where things are mysteriously growing very large, why don't you spend even one second making a plan for what to do about things being very large. #monsterdon

so we would expect to see some 40 story skyscraper wasp nest right #monsterdon

giving absolutely no stage direction to the bacteriologist so she is just standing there with a blank smile, unmoving at all times she is not talking #monsterdon