Opus 19
“At one point, I hated Gaza. I just wanted out. I wanted to study in America and be this big director. I wanted to win an Oscar. All my dreams were overseas. I think I was just mad at how besieged Gaza was—it limits you in so many ways. Some of the men here are so narrow minded. I wanted to throw them all out of Gaza so that they could see the world, and then bring them back, with different views, and different thoughts. But there’s also a brilliance to the people here.
“Because it would take decades of research to learn what our trauma forces upon us at a very young age. You don’t have the privilege of disassociating from reality. You cannot ignore this shit. The drones, the rubble, the blood, the children fighting for food and water. It’s all around you. A white person living in Europe is able to say they don’t care about politics, because they’re not exposed to the firsthand effects.
“But if even one of the things that happen on a daily basis in Gaza, was to happen in the West, it would move nations. In political science class we used to learn about things like ethics, and human rights, and international law. But life in Gaza will teach you that these things are just propaganda. Propaganda that fooled us into believing that if only people knew what was going on, they’d stop it.
“It was this naive notion that led us, at least me and all of my friends, to film and document and speak and share on our stupid Instagrams. But I’ve lost the will. It’s too exhausting. Everyone has disassociated from our reality. We have nothing to eat, but we have these phones. We get to watch our international friends going about their days normally. Who are we even talking to?
“You cannot rely on the conscience and moral compass of those in power. We’ve tried for so long. It doesn’t work. You have to put pressure on them. You have to disrupt their systems. You have to move and mobilize and obstruct and protest and cost them things. It’s the only thing they listen to. Life in Gaza does teach you. For the longest time I wanted to leave, but now I don’t feel like I could bear living anywhere else in this world. Gaza feels like the only real place left on earth.”