@Gargron the review process at Google can be a PITA, but for a good reason. Permissions to access more than an app really needs can be exploited for harvesting private information on a seemless update that most won't even notice. Side loaded apps downloaded from say APK mirror can have been tampered with using smali edits and you won't know. What Google should do is certified dev signing keys to trace and confirm if an APK is legit or not and coming from the actual dev, regardless of being side loaded.