I know it’s The Onion, but I find it funny (not “haha” funny) that conservatives will preach all day about how everyone is soft these days yet will immediately cower in fear as soon as they see transgender people, black people, women in power, women with dyed hair, gay people getting married, Muslims, immigrants speaking Spanish, wind turbines, vaccines, books, pornography, video games, poor people (even when they themselves are poor), homeless people, electric cars, “wokeness” (whatever the fuck that means), DEI, Democrats, free healthcare, protestors, and on and on and on. Like, how do you function in society when you are scared of literally everything?

But I guess that’s kinda the point of this Onion article.