#2 hits home for me. I always feel like I don’t deserve to be loved because I hate everything about myself and until I fix it I deserve to be alone.

That’s a form of perfectionism and it isn’t healthy. Perfection does not exist, it’s entirely imaginary. You may think “I’m not aiming for perfect” but l need to tell you something important, yes you are. Whatever your mental model of desirable is, whatever it entails, that is your version of perfectionism, and it’s unhealthy. It’s okay to pursue growth and change, but you also need to learn to accept yourself for who and what and how you are right now. You are always changing. You always have and always will. You can work with that. You can make it work. You’re worthwhile just as you are. When you make progress toward a goal, celebrate it, but if you don’t feel like you are making progress you can still celebrate the effort. Everyone does what they can, and doing what you can is what makes you worthwhile, not the outcome, but the effort.