Mre. Dartigen [maker mode]Jul 16
Queer Like The Slur

It's often noted that toddlers say 'no' a lot because that's what's constantly said to them. Toddlers are just mirroring what they're receiving. Then adults flip out, because they can't cope with being treated the way they treat toddlers.

Far less acknowledged is the way youth are constantly told 'you should'. They come to believe that's the normal way middle aged and elderly people interact, because that's the only way older people interact with them: projecting judgement and instruction. Then adults flip out because they can't stand being spoken to the way they speak to teens.

Jul 15 at 10:15pmWeb
Show threadQueer Like The SlurJul 15
It's pretty weird that we expect all children to emotionally regulate through a daily social reality that cause the average adult to meltdown instantly.
Show threadBytebro 🇬🇧 🇺🇦Jul 16

@coolandnormal

Not just adult/child.

If I mention an ailment or problem to friends, there's the one group whos' every 'suggestion' is prefixed with "what you need to do is..."

Another, much smaller group, will just listen, think, and then maybe say something like "when I had a similar problem, I did blah, which helped"

tl;dr: some people will always try and 'fix you', to pinch a line from that bloody song 🤔

Show thread.vad//hakara🧭Jul 16

@coolandnormal My favorite way parents and guardians fuck up their kids is when they expect them to do something without teaching them how to do it, and when it isn't perfect or something goes wrong, they scream and yell and then still never teach them the right way to do it.

I didn't learn how to use a stove until I was 19. Didn't know how to change oil or tires until 20.
Some fundamental flaw in the way some parents were raised prevents them from remembering their own ignorant youth.

Show threadShifting Sand's Decapod Deportment Jul 16
@coolandnormal was kind of wild watching Lift Off clips recently, there's a story in the puppet cafe where a character seems to be in distress and is harangued by a chorus telling him he's gotta get over himself and do what must be done.

suddenly a lot of my childhood makes sense.
Show threadLa Belle Kapok Jul 16
@coolandnormal I worked a preschool summer camp one summer. I had a 4yo who would answer "I'm busy." She thought it meant "no." Heartbreaking.
Show threadQueer Like The SlurJul 16

@mylesserhalf when my siblings and I were small we thought "busy" meant "angry".

We were not wrong.