Kernel Bob 
Now I have a spare mini PC. I didn't mean to...
I bought a random cheap PC for OPNsense. It has two NICs, but unfortunately they're Realtek, and not supported by OPNsense without kernel hacking. I don't want a router that's hard to upgrade/reimage, so I'm going to get something else that has dual Intel NICs.
And I messed up the Windows image on the SSD before I realized my mistake. So I can't in good conscience return it.
__Miguel_