Mark ☸Jun 21
Bob LeFridge  

America has The Onion, Canada has The Beaverton. This is a helpful travel piece: "Canadians travelling to the US advised to not fucking do that".

“Canadians are welcome in California. It’s perfectly safe to visit,” said Governor Gavin Newsom. “Just so long as you take a few basic travel precautions, like travelling on a valid passport, teleporting over the border, moving undetected in the shadows in the dead of night, getting the telephone number of an immigration attorney tattooed to your upper thigh, saying a heartfelt goodbye to your pets and the people who love you, and appointing someone to water your plants just in case you disappear into a labyrinthian nightmare of an extrajudicial immigration enforcement system that no longer answers to judge nor common mercy.”

https://www.thebeaverton.com/2025/06/canadians-travelling-to-the-us-advised-to-not-fucking-do-that/

#Beaverton #Canada #Satire

Canadians travelling to the US advised to not fucking do that

OTTAWA - Canadians thinking of planning a trip to the United States are being advised by the Government of Canada to perhaps consider going anywhere else on the entire fucking planet for their summer vacations. 

The Beaverton
Jun 21 at 8:18pmWeb
Show thread🇨🇦 Joey EremondiJun 21
@BobLefridge Written by @VeryBadLlama !
Show threadTheo  Jun 22
@BobLefridge I love teleporting over the border!
Show threadCoastalCoastingJun 22

@BobLefridge

Wow. Canadians are pulling some massive punches these days. Good, these times call for such things. Elbows Out neighbors.

#Canada #ICE #SatireNotSatire

Show threadtlarivJun 22

@BobLefridge
And like The Onion, truer than the actual news.

Save yourselves friends; it's too late to help us.

Show threadJustRosy 🇺🇦Jun 22

@BobLefridge

I couldn't help thinking of Ender Pearls!

https://minecraft.fandom.com/wiki/Ender_Pearl

Ender Pearl

An ender pearl is an item that can be thrown and teleports the thrower to where it lands, and used to craft eyes of ender which are required to access the End. An enderman has a 50% chance to drop 1 ender pearl when killed. The drop is increased by 1 per level of Looting, with a maximum of 4 with Looting III. A trapped chest always containing 2 ender pearls can be found in the "fake end portal" room of woodland mansions. In Java Edition, expert-level cleric villagers have a 2⁄3 chance to...

Minecraft Wiki