@zygmyd all true in the N American context, but i basically grew up in a city state and never had any other way of life available to me, even if all of those things were not true.

i'm learning now about different ways of living, i'm glad they exist, but also, i am still deeply comforted by cities. and in this context, it's because they tend to be the only places that provide me with the cultural affinity i am after, vs being a complete outsider in places with far less diversity.

it's a reasonable cost for me, one that would take a lot to give up.