The second line on the podium isn’t French, though. They’re building a UN-Canada fort and no stinky Americans allowed

You got it all wrong. It’s about an uncanadian fort which makes it very American

No no no. “Un” means “one.” They are building the first in a series of forts. Canada is constructing its own version of the Maginot Line, but unlike the French they are extending it all the way to the sea (on both ends).

Make sure you man it with trans folk. Apparently they terrify the people in my country.

You probably don’t even have to fully man it, just put a unisex bathroom on the front of them and maybe a poster about universal healthcare.