Still remembering that time when, back in my masc-presenting days, I decided that my wife was having to do too much of the #EmotionalLabour of managing the social calendar in the relationship, and so I declared that I would organise the next get-together with friends. So I wrote an email and sent it to a bunch of folks to ask when they'd be available.
...most of whom phoned or messaged my wife to RSVP. 😣
@Tattie Oof, felt.
I was struggling to take care of my wife a few weeks ago, and one of our friends reached out to her with "Let me know if Ryan wants any help with meals or anything." Her response was "You should check with them."
I'm not sure if I'm ever going to be able to fully shake this with our longer-term friends. It's been frustrating to hear how many folks were asking her how I've been doing since coming out…not thinking to ask me directly.
@Tattie It has been eye-opening, for sure.
I had an explicit conversation with my wife and told her she should feel empowered to nip these moments in the bud and tell folks to talk with me directly. I feel fortunate that, to my knowledge, our group of friends hasn't been poking at my transition in an invasive/insensitive way.
I've come *very* close to posting something more visible about this. She's carried me enough. ❤️🩹
Tattie
Ryan Clough 
rowan {forest witch}
Pau Amma