ClarificationSW Actually describing my fights with my girlfriend to other people is making me realize I am NOT in a good situation
Like what do you mean I feel scared to say no to her? I don't even need to hear anyone's response. What am I doing to myself?
The audacity to be upset right after I said I didn't want to have sex, to give me the cold shoulder, not explain why your upset, and just leaving me to worry and think.
I feel like I've had my boundaries and self confidence eroded over months and I still feel like I can't end it because it would hurt her
She argued that the word "pressure" made her feel bad. And apparently that's not why she was upset but later she said it kinda was. So she just said she wasn't upset by that so that I would feel bad and apologize? Why do I do this?
I want so bad to make things work but I feel like I'm constantly de-escalating or snapping, or being talked down to, or yelled at or guilted.
If I do something that upsets her I "always do this" if I set normal boundaries they upset and hurt her. She'll be angered by the vocabulary I use to describe how she treats me.
And it's just holy fucking shit this is insane to just write out and reevaluate as not normal
I feel like I've had my boundaries and self confidence eroded over months and I still feel like I can't end it because it would hurt her
She argued that the word "pressure" made her feel bad. And apparently that's not why she was upset but later she said it kinda was. So she just said she wasn't upset by that so that I would feel bad and apologize? Why do I do this?
I want so bad to make things work but I feel like I'm constantly de-escalating or snapping, or being talked down to, or yelled at or guilted.
If I do something that upsets her I "always do this" if I set normal boundaries they upset and hurt her. She'll be angered by the vocabulary I use to describe how she treats me.
And it's just holy fucking shit this is insane to just write out and reevaluate as not normal
I've practically begged her to not pressure me into things like going out, talking, or having sex.
She doesn't understand consent, she makes me feel guilty for changing my mind, she makes me feel guilty for not wanting to call out of nowhere. She acts like she can't be happy without me and honestly maybe she can't but it's not my problem.
She doesn't understand consent, she makes me feel guilty for changing my mind, she makes me feel guilty for not wanting to call out of nowhere. She acts like she can't be happy without me and honestly maybe she can't but it's not my problem.
Amber 
@ClarificationSW yeah. i hope you can get in a better one. i've watched things deteriorate wish i could do something to help
@puppygirlhornypost2 I feel like my entire life is falling apart, my gender clinic just cancelled my appointment, my partner is toxic as shit, and I'm doing worse and worse in my classes. My supports are all failing and I feel incredibly alone and it's literally all my fault.
I left one shitty situation just to put myself in a worse one. I feel doomed to repeat the same shit over and over. I don't get to get happy.
I'm sorry I've been so distant it's been so hard to do anything. I feel gutted of any hope of getting better. I'm holding on but God my rope is getting thin.
I left one shitty situation just to put myself in a worse one. I feel doomed to repeat the same shit over and over. I don't get to get happy.
I'm sorry I've been so distant it's been so hard to do anything. I feel gutted of any hope of getting better. I'm holding on but God my rope is getting thin.
@ClarificationSW i miss you a lot, i also miss when times were simpler when i was just manic on tumblr. everything has gone to shit
@puppygirlhornypost2 honestly yeah. Everything is worse now. Still trying to transition at this point feels pointless but I just keep going. I'm losing. It's all just getting harder and harder and I don't know what to do. I think I'm making the right decision and most people are telling me I am but it's just so hard to feel like I'm right about this.