Mastodawn

verifiedtransbian

Being called out has never hurt so much. You have no idea

"Check in on your queer friends with ADHD/ AuDHD right now cuz their Justice Sensitivity combined with their Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria means that they are both acutely aware of how f*cked up things are *and* also feel personally responsible for fixing it *while* dealing with the helplessness inherent in the reality that individual action is not gonna do it this time. This means that their brains/bodies are going into overdrive and also that they are feeling guilty for any kind of self-care or joy in their lives because their brain weasels are telling them that resting or being happy while others cannot/are not is selfish. It's an exhausting state and we're not OK."

@sashag 🫂🫂🫂

verifiedtransbian

people_hugging_purple

ℵ₀ 🏳️‍⚧️🏴‍☠️Feb 24

@sashag panic/dissociation, et al ... Feels pretty bad, and keeps coming and going in waves.

Picks the Evangelist Feb 24

@sashag first of all, how dare you

second, God I need a hug

Feral Aunt Nessie

@sashag And I thought I was going crazy and need to up my anxiety meds

recursive 🏳️‍🌈Feb 24

@sashag One of the hardest things I've had to learn is that I'm not personally responsible for fixing every problem that I can see

Kevin Davy Feb 24

@sashag
Indeed.

@sashag Yeah. Yeah... We're not okay. This isn't okay.

@sashag You mean most people don't think it's their personal responsibility to fix everything wrong with the world?

That would explain a lot, actually.

Mystery Babylon

heart_progress_Hearts

@sabrina @sashag

r e l a t a b l e

Court Cantrell prefers not to Feb 24

@sashag Well FUCK this explains why I'm such a More Mess Than Usual.

I want to rip out my hair. Can I rip out my hair?

Brian MacDonald Feb 24

@sashag Oh yeah, definitely feeling this. Or at least, feeling this looming on the horizon waiting to overwhelm me.

"Fortunately," my personal life is currently messed up enough that combined with a challenging work situation, I'm mostly able to tell myself that avoiding the news is necessary right now for my continued functioning.

But I secretly hate myself for being able to do that. And I know this isn't sustainable.

Itoshi no FoxyDonuts 🏳️‍⚧️Feb 24

@sashag You got my feelings to a tee here...but at least I have weekly therapy to process it.

Murdoc Addams 🧛🏻

@sashag
Very me as well. Not so much the bit about individual action, but instead my feeling of helplessness is coming from that life is more messed up for me than usual right now which is interfering with my already problematic executive dysfunction (less mental energy), so in other words, I am doing even less about things than I normally do which frustrates me more because of the increased need and urgency.

Mystery Babylon

heart_progress_Hearts

@murdoc @sashag

Jessica 🏳️‍⚧️ (she/her)Feb 24

@sashag
You mean it's not just me?

Iris Nieborg Feb 24

@sashag did you really have to call me out like that?

@sashag THIS! Exactly this!🤘 😘

callie-fornication Feb 24

@sashag absolutely sniped me wtf

Lumiukko Feb 24

@sashag this. But I don't like to be written about like some subject of research. I know it's not intentional, though.

verifiedtransbian

@lumiukko Well, I don't see where there's research or treating people like subjects in the quote. But you're certainly free to have your own interpretation.

Lumiukko Feb 24

@sashag I guess it's the combination of the scientific terminology and the use of their or third person perspective. I didn't mean to accuse you, it just felt a little strange reading this describing my current feelings 😅

verifiedtransbian

@lumiukko Oh, it's fine. No worries. It's interesting how different we read the quote.
Maybe I did read too much sociological literature (one of my special interests 😅).
Or it's what Schulz von Thun called the receiver's filter (communication is another hyperfocus topic 🙈).

Rozzychan Feb 25

@sashag
Thanks for saying that so articulately.

I just try to remind myself that every little thing you do to survive now is a victory.

Get some rest.
Plan a garden.
Cook a meal.
Make art.

All of these things are of value in helping you get through the challenging things to come. So listen to music. Suck on a lime. Get some sleep so tomorrow you can be ready if you are needed.

CatSalad🐈🥗 (D.Burch)

@sashag "We're not OK" is an understatement 😖

@sashag I feel this. Thank you for taking the time to put it into words. 💜

Just call me Ash Feb 25

@sashag pfff.. this hits home hard.

Been feeling that I should be constantly writing, both blog posts and fiction. Using what voice I have.

tuban_muzuru Feb 25

[grimly] Old straight white guy - when I was in the Army, in the 70s, we had queer people in our platoon. We covered for them, our sense of unit loyalty trumped anything else.

Our unit commander knew, too. We closed ranks around those guys.

I never thought I'd see this day - again. But here we are.

Time to get with the plan, folks. Our LGBTQ people are not feeling okay. We gotta be the friends they need.

crypticcelery 🔜 GPN Feb 25

@sashag wow.
Have not heard about justice sensitivity before, but this encapsulates quite a bit of my mental landscape.
And while I am not really queer (I think) and quite likely to be relatively fine for a while, it feels like I have become active for others too late, like there is just a backlog of things to have done a long time ago.
And in the meantime, NT people around me still don’t see how dire the situation is for many people (not them yet), that I am “exaggerating”.

Mystery Babylon

heart_progress_Hearts

@crypticcelery @sashag I've felt some of that last bit, too. The people I know of (usually only tangentially, as most close friends are also acutely aware) who are like, finally slowly waking up to something being Really Wrong. But they're acting like they have time to have a cup of tea and mull the situation over. It's a bit like being in a bad dream, wanting to shake people that an issue is coming up behind them but they just can't hear. I've had to really learn for the first time in my life, how to detach. It is so hard. That feeling of responsibility for the whole world is just part of my wiring, it's not just some trauma-dent I can get rid of.

Daniel Cardoso Feb 25

@sashag excessively relatable 😆

Kit Rhett Aultman Feb 25

@sashag I constantly must remind myself that I am already using half of all my free time to maintain a safe place for queer athletes to know their worth and support each other, and that this is enough. Social fabric, fostering community and friendships, and having places to find strength and happiness have to matter.

Woozle Hypertwin Feb 25

@sashag yeah, it very me.

Noxy 🐾🏳️‍🌈Feb 25

@sashag you absolutely nailed the whole entire casserole of bad feels I've been dealing with, thank you <3

Agrippina Siderea Feb 26

@sashag Oh and if they're queer they'll feel targeted as well
Because we are

verifiedtransbian

@Agrippina_Siderea Oh yes, we are.

@sashag
This is so much me ...

verifiedtransbian

@cowfish It's so many people at the moment. 🥺

Mystery Babylon

heart_progress_Hearts

@sashag Hahahahaha just drag me by every single fiber of my being, why don't ya! This is spot on.

I've added to the emotional mess by actually leaving the U.S., so now I have a big dollop of survivor's guilt on top of it, mixed with terrifying levels of relief and freedom that I have literally no idea what to do with, having spent my whole life in that pressure cooker of a country.

Iron Raptor Feb 27

@sashag
I am not queer. Just a lowly cishet male. But even I feel this crushing weight.... To the point where it felt like some cosmic universal entity was sending me a message to just... Tap out on life.

Thank you for posting this. Cuz. Boy is this toot like a mirror on my soul

Bishop Greer Godsey Feb 27

@sashag this is me right now. And being shot at by liberals and progressives who want to appease the Nazis is not helping.

DeltaWye 🔜 Anthrocon-ish?Mar 5

@sashag I never heard of “Justice Sensitivity” but mentioning that “made a light bulb over my head turn on” here.

Lea Rosema Mar 8

@sashag 🫂💜

marionline Mar 8

@sashag
For me, I thought yesterday that I'll just I try to contribute my small share of good, even if it's not much... Since there's no use in hurting myself by overstepping my own borders and doing more than I can. I understand it's not a solution to archive the changes we hope for, but it's helping me to stay healthy and that's important, too.
I might be more ASD than AuDHD, so I hope I didn't say something stupid. 🤔

It is nice to read that this post shows so many people they are not alone and feel seen.

Please don't give up hope! 🍀 🥄

verifiedtransbian

@marionline Absolutely not wrong. I'm AuDHD, but more on the ADHD side. And I fully agree.