Uh woah, holy hell. I walked away for a couple hours to get some housework caught up and this exploded to a profoundly unexpected degree.
In the interest of having some integrity I want to make it clear that I was not fired or laid off as part of this decision. A few people suggested I should use the fedihire hashtag for this post and the reason I didn't is: as badly as I need a new job, I'm going to make rent on the 1st, and there are plenty of people out there who will need new jobs faster than I will.
I am still leaving this company for one headquartered in a country with a functioning political landscape and laws that are actually enforced, ideally even the country I actually live in. I have the extreme luxury of being able to pace that project out if needed, at least for now.
I appreciate everyone's help but to be super clear: there are actual people on the fedihire hashtag who need your help more than I do.
I am just a grumpy cartoon dog on the internet.