kez!Jan 20
Shyra “Tech Ambrosia”

I have an ... abnormal ... request.

I'm in my 40s, have a decent job, and generally have survived to become what the baby gays think of as an "elder queer."

But I've had it so much easier than these kids are going to have it, and that those who came before me had it.

So I ask: are there some true "elder queers" out there who could proffer up some advice for the generation that's coming into their own in these dark times? I'd really appreciate it, and I think they would too.

🏳️‍🌈

Jan 20 at 2:30amWeb
Show threadShyra “Tech Ambrosia”Jan 20

Thank you, everyone! I extremely appreciate the insight (except for you, you know who you are)!

I share many of your values and opinions, and will strive to nurture and protect the younger generations in my circles, and help those I can outside them.

You're an inspiration, all of you. We're stronger together!

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤

Show threadChris PetrilliJan 20

@shyra not enormously older (50s) but came of age at the height of the AIDS crisis, ACT UP, and a government that was at best indifferent to our dying, and in many ways quite happy to see the body count.

Three things:

1. Find joy and family where you can. It is what gives us the strength when nothing else can.

2. Protect everyone. Protect those more vulnerable than you. We are stronger as a group, but far too many will think that “surely it won’t impact me”. It will, directly or indirectly.

3. Cede nothing. Far too much blood has been spilled and lives lost getting to this point to surrender anything. There can be no pre-emptive compliance.

Show threadChris PetrilliJan 20
@shyra people like Anita Bryant, may she burn forever in torment, gleefully bathed in the blood of so many. There are more like her, but they are not the majority. The problem is, the majority will keep its head down, hoping it will not come for them. Content that it’s going for the “other”, and failing to recognize that, to those of this cruel bent, everyone is other as is convenient.
Show threadAlex@rtnVFRmedia Suffolk UKJan 20

@petrillic @shyra a couple of years ago there was a Trans Pride march in Clacton-on-Sea, a coastal town in Essex, England which is a culture war frontline (it has an MP from hard right party Reform).

In spite of all this, the whole streets were lined with seniors (average age 70) in *support* of the marchers, this was all over the local media and was a powerful image (also even the bigots who choose violence generally won't pick on seniors)

Show threadStone CairnsJan 21

@petrillic @shyra

Also in my 50s (out since ‘92) and regarding number 2 : all queer people are your community. Even the assholes. Hold the line, have each others back.

Show threadStinkie McPheeJan 20
@shyra if you have to hide your queerness to stay alive or healthy, it's not something to be ashamed of. And don't lie to yourself, because it doesn't make things better.
Show threadEverbern NeverlearnJan 20

@shyra I'm on the cusp of eldergaydom, but my partner is fully eldergay and saw some shit in the 80's.

I think one of the most important things is to keep your community together! Don't go it alone. Chosen family, friends, the nice neighbors who say hi to you... whether online or IRL (and try to have both) all are important to a sane existence. Plus, as we get older, time and circumstance take people from us. Be there for each other.

Show threadsortiusJan 20

@shyra I'm 44, bi, and have never been part of any queer community, at all.

That said, I have two young kids at primary school, and they know better than any old person what they need to do.

All you need to do is be there for young queers, and be supportive. Your advice will never apply to them, you're 40 years too late with that one 😉

There's plenty of little queerlings at my kids' primary school, and they're all good