Mastodawn

🅰🅻🅸🅲🅴 (🌈🦄)Jan 11

There's a type of reply-guy that crawls out of the woodwork when I post anything that might inspire others to take action, and they're deceptively insidious.

Regardless of the topic, they sound like this:

Alice: I don't own a gun because they're for killing and I'm not a fan of killing.
Bob: Then only the bad guys will have guns.

Alice: I deleted my Facebook account.
Bob: If the good people leave then the bad guys win.

Alice: I'm openly queer so others know they're not alone.
Bob: You'll make yourself a target.

In every instance, they defend the shitty state of things by discouraging action and change. It's a reply that is designed to support the default, the current power structure. It's a type of reply meant to de-fang movements.

I've posted about this before, but apparently it bears repeating. Fighting for something takes energy. Change takes sustained energy and momentum. These types of interactions sap energy. They're not posting anything openly disagreeable, they're just dropping little doubt caltrops, little concern anchors—making it harder to keep fighting, harder to gain momentum.

If you're about to jump into a thread and concern troll, don't. I'm fucking sick of it. The rest of us don't have the time or energy to drag your dead weight along.

#ReplyGuys #Concern #Trolling #Change

Cavyherd Jan 11

I misread caltrops as catpoops which: yeah. That too.

That aside, I feel like this is as an important an insight as "Unsolicited advice is criticism, always." And "Don't harsh someone's squee."

@cavyherd What does the last one mean?

Cavyherd Jan 18

If, for example, someone's going on about a show/series/franchise they love, don't respond by telling them what you don't like about it or what you think is wrong with it.

@cavyherd Ah, thank you! (Are there any other don'ts I should be aware of? I wish there was a hashtag or a bot I could follow for regular updates and reminders like this.)

Cavyherd Jan 18

You could start a hashtag! Like maybe #HowToHuman ?

I've learned much I know from Captain Awkward. Her deal is mostly interpersonal boundaries, but stuff like this gets sprinkled in, & I credit much of my ability to conduct myself in a civilized manner to her instruction. & also she's a fun read, esp when she gets angry 😂

http://captainawkward.com

CaptainAwkward.com

Don't need to be cool to be kind.

CaptainAwkward.com

That's a great idea, but I'd need to have actual advice to share on #HowToHuman if I wanted to start that. 😁
I'll work through the website first, it sounds like that's a good place for me to start my journey to humandom. 😊

Cavyherd Jan 18

Or, you could use it as a way to ask questions? Questions are good! We like questions! Questions are also incredibly powerful. I point you to @RickiTarr as an exemplar. Asks questions ranging from deep to frivolous, & nucleates the most amazing conversations.

Do note that posts have to be set to public for hashtags to work (a thing I persistently forget, but fortunately my instance has an alert that reminds me. >

Cavyherd Jan 18

& I wouldn't get fussy about what questions to ask? If you're not sure what you're asking? Say that! People are incredibly willing to help! (Sometimes too much so 😂)

@cavyherd I will make sure to ask you all the questions if you like them so much. :P
But I don't know what I don't know, you know? So I was thinking about a feed that gave me advice I didn't know I needed. Like the post we are under :)

Cavyherd Jan 18

Ask away! It's a lovely excuse to dish out Free Advice™, & much better for my spiritual merit than unsolicited free advice, which is a habit I've acutally had some success breaking.

That's the lovely thing about asking questions (again, referencing Ricki Tarr's threads) combined with topic drift. Stuff will come up that you would never have thought to ask. Many hands make light work, & all that. >

Cavyherd Jan 18

My only request: make it a fully public ask. One will get Reply Guys (per OP), but that's why John Mastodon gave us the block & mute buttons.

@cavyherd Is our conversation not fully public? Oh! I just checked, you're right. It's night time here, I will try to think of a question tomorrow.

Cavyherd Jan 18

"Tomorrow!
Tomorrow!
I love ya
Tomorrow!

You're always
A day
A way!"

Sorry 😂

@cavyherd I will think of a question next week. 😩

Cavyherd Jan 18

No hurry! It should be fun!

Cavyherd Jan 18

And also: if Asking Questions In Public Is Too Much, you can always ask me & then indicate that this is a question you'd be okay making public, & *I* can ask it publicly to the hashtag.

Options! There are many!

@cavyherd Fun? 🤨

Cavyherd Jan 19

Hey, I find figuring out how humans work to be fascinating.

Granted, not a recreation to everyone's taste!

@cavyherd You know what I like about social media? That I don't actually have to be social, and can instead passively consume other people's efforts as well as passively check in on folks without actually having to talk to them. 😅

Cavyherd Jan 19

This is, in fact, a glorious thing about social media. Just Sit Back & Watch!