levampyreDec 9, 2024
Dear fellow autistic or monotropic peers, I need your advice. I struggle with taking "me time", esp. in stressfull tides. How do you do it? How are you able to relax when you know you have unfinished business? How do you not feel guilty (?) thinking about all the chores you didn't do today? How do you drop tasks you or your loved ones depend on? And how do you give away responsibility, when it means that you also lose control over how things are done? @actuallyautistic #autism #monotropism
Show threadtowoDec 10, 2024
@levampyre
What helps me is considering the negative impact of neglecting self-care. I still tend to overextend myself, but focusing on the fact that me not being healthy is a bigger issue for my family than me being behind on e.g. chores helps; generating care work for others *and* not getting tasks done is worse than just getting fewer tasks done.
Lack of mental vs. physical health expresses differently, of course, but both have negative consequences.
Show threadlevampyreDec 10, 2024
@towo I'm afraid that way relaxing or taking a break would become a necessary chore I do for others. I would have to take care of myself, not for myself, because I'm worth it, but because my family relies on me and will not be able to rely on me, if I'm broken. It becomes just another responsibility. Breaking would be my fault, because I didn't take care of myself enough. And now my poor family must suffer, because I neglected my responsibility to relax and take care of myself.
Show threadtowo
@levampyre Oh, fair, that's something I haven't considered yet, since I'm using my logic as a backing reasoning for my desires, not as the sole or primary motivation for doing those. The desire for me-time is still intrinsic, I just need some justification to allow myself to follow it.
Dec 10, 2024 at 1:44pmWeb
Show threadlevampyreDec 10, 2024
@towo I have a rational justification, I just lack the ability to let go and relax, because I constantly think about all the things I need to do and haven't done, I'm constantly aware of all my responsibilities. 😕