My idea: CLOTHES SHOP FOR DADS

You roll up at the facility, drive over to the JEANS hut. Dinnerlady-type in her wee hole says "What size luv," you go "thirrehfourthirrehtwoluv" while making a mental note to go easy on the pies so you can get back to 32/32, she goes "Right you are luv, tenner alright?" and chucks you a bin bag full of dead blokes' jeans that aren't too far gone and you give her a tenner and you're done, move on. T-shirts next.

T-shirts are more complicated, your jeans were the simple one to ease you into it. Pull round to a bloke eating a pasty. He asks "Size," you go "Medium or large depending y'know," he nods, "You wanting colour, drab, black or mixup?" you think about it a moment and go aye, go on then, "Mix it up mate, colours and drab," he goes "Plain or wi' shite on, plain's two quid extra," you're sure as hell not gonna advertise some bugger else's T-shirt business on your body, so you give him twelve quid and he hands you Bin Bag 2.

There's a pub on-premises that'll do you some chips or a pasty and you can watch the JCB sorting out the clothes while you drink your pint and furtle through your bags to see what you've bought.

It'd be brilliant. Buying clothes would have nae stress at all, plus if you ended up wearing shite and looking a bit of a muppet you could just go "Aye well it were in the bag weren't it" and everybody'd nod and go aye, fair do's

Well that resonated with the Dads of the Fediverse

The fedimums meanwhile seem to be torn between "If my feller goes there I swear I'll kill him" and "There'd bloody well better be one for mums and all"

Said to my spouse just now, "Made a post last night that did NUMBERS on Fedi," she's like

🤨 "Yes, I saw it on the toilet just now."
🦔 "That's a good place to see it."
🤨 "That's the Only place to see it."

So this got boost-reminded into my notifications again

Internet 💻 Hey Dan, check out this thing you wrote four months ago, it did big numbers
🦝 what oh no oh god what garbage did I vomit into the stream this time
💻 it's the one about buying your clothes in binbags from the JCB hole
🦝 oh that one, phew haha yeah I still fully support and stand by those words, that's the one Big Numbers post I'm not ashamed of

Me, reading almost anything I posted more than 18 months ago: 🦝 oh god cringe hiss no delete delete delete

Me, whenever someone faves the dead-bloke's-jeans post from mid-2023: 🦝 may I always be as wise as I was in my clear-eyed youth