Kevin Davy@VulcanTourist
May I second, or is it third, that you move to a better instance. I strongly suspect that Social may be getting the shit end of the experience because of its lack of moderation. Better run and moderated instances tend to weed out the worst of the idiots, like you experienced earlier. Also, the example of seeing a more civilised environment tends to allow people to relax and be more open.
VulcanTourist [MOVED]Have you both seen the cruel vindictive reply I got from someone today who isn't from the mastodon.social instance, and from a self-identified neurodivergent person who first followed me today? (Below is his cruelty and my attempt to elicit an apology.)
I'll be candid: I've received unwarranted cruelty from people before, and in EVERY instance it's been from someone usinf another host and most often from ND people.
I don't see mastodon.social as a problem.
@VulcanTourist @dyani
I'm not saying that there aren't bad actors elsewhere and many within our community, especially those coming newly from other places can have, through experience, an attack first, listen later, if at all, policy. The point is that well run instances tend to screen out the worst, where ever they are. Social, doesn't have the ability to do this, because of its size and that is its problem. For example, I can't remember seeing a reaction like you unjustly received for a long time and only really when I was on one of the larger instances.
I'm not saying that there aren't bad actors elsewhere and many within our community, especially those coming newly from other places can have, through experience, an attack first, listen later, if at all, policy. The point is that well run instances tend to screen out the worst, where ever they are. Social, doesn't have the ability to do this, because of its size and that is its problem. For example, I can't remember seeing a reaction like you unjustly received for a long time and only really when I was on one of the larger instances.
I hear you, Kevin, but my perspective remains that so far - being on the "inside"? - I haven't seen any of these ill effects caused by mastodon.social. Given the same confuence of events, I would have received that vindictiveness today even if I'd been hosted by another instance.
I started to report him, but it wasn't clear that he'd broken any rules that I could cite, and his host isn't likely one that cares.
Yes, there's the lack of engagement that I lamented, but can I really know that is the cause? I might migrate to another host and forsake all this history built up here only to find things are no better.
I'd like to be certain of mastodon.social being the cause before I kick it to the curb.
@VulcanTourist @dyani
The thing to remember about this place is that moving instances, as long as you do it right, is really easy. All those you follow, and therefore most of those who follow you back, will go with you, so will bookmarks, so if you have any posts you're fond of, bookmark them. So you don't really lose anything. Your timeline will stay pretty much the same. What you may actually find is access to a better community experience, without many of the bad actors and unpleasant experiences.
The thing to remember about this place is that moving instances, as long as you do it right, is really easy. All those you follow, and therefore most of those who follow you back, will go with you, so will bookmarks, so if you have any posts you're fond of, bookmark them. So you don't really lose anything. Your timeline will stay pretty much the same. What you may actually find is access to a better community experience, without many of the bad actors and unpleasant experiences.
So which host do I choose? I want (a) a better character limit than 500 and (b) server rules that would prohibit the cruelty of today.
Is there one? (B) would be a big ask of most social media; none of them want to get in the middle of such "personal disputes".
@VulcanTourist @dyani
I'm not sure any instance would cover what you experienced today specifically, because it didn't include any of the major no no's of race or hate speech or anything like it. The instance I'm on is good for character limit, 11001 if you are interested, and moderation. In many respects something like what you experienced is about being able to approach the person who runs the site and being able to talk with them. This is generally far more doable on the smaller instances. autistics. life is run by someone who is not only very active here, but also very approachable and would see this for what it is. Her character limit is, I believe 2000. It's also an instance primarily for the neurodivergent.
I'm not sure any instance would cover what you experienced today specifically, because it didn't include any of the major no no's of race or hate speech or anything like it. The instance I'm on is good for character limit, 11001 if you are interested, and moderation. In many respects something like what you experienced is about being able to approach the person who runs the site and being able to talk with them. This is generally far more doable on the smaller instances. autistics. life is run by someone who is not only very active here, but also very approachable and would see this for what it is. Her character limit is, I believe 2000. It's also an instance primarily for the neurodivergent.
Kevin (or Amygdalai), do you know the address (name? ID?) of the autistics.life server owner? I'm thinking I might share what happened today with them/her and ask how they/she would interpret that or respond. That's rather direct (that's me), but it would answer the question affirmatively.
Even a character limit of 2000 is good, 11K would be crazy-generous.
Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama
Autistic Innovator 
@VulcanTourist hi! I am the owner of autistics.life we actually have a 10,000 character limit now. We got upgraded from 2,000 a few weeks ago. What questions do you have for me?
@ashleyspencer @punishmenthurts @pathfinder @dyani
Hello! My question is regarding server rules and how those might protect me from *ahem* unpleasantness like what I endured today. It's happened several times before, and it disturbs me greatly. I'd be inclined to share a screenshot privately unless you've already seen it.
That's a very generous character limit, more than adequate, BTW.
@VulcanTourist @punishmenthurts @pathfinder @dyani You can just report it. I usually just block assholes from being able to interact with anyone on our server. I’ve had to block a couple of servers who had too many racists and asshole trolls. Mainly small instances made for people like that are what I’ve blocked.
@ashleyspencer @punishmenthurts @pathfinder @dyani
Thank you. I was able to deal with the person today, tried to be the adult and elicit an apology so that there was reason to remain in contact, but the encounter was still deeply disturbing. I'm left blaming myself even though I know that I shouldn't, n'est-ce pas? I won't always be as adaptive as I was today.
So... I suppose I'm sold! What are the mechanics for migration within the Fediverse? I'm a newbie.
@VulcanTourist @punishmenthurts @pathfinder @dyani We are set to approval only to prevent spam accounts, so you can go to https://autistics.life/about and sign up there. After I approve you then you can set up your account and do the migration.
Fedi.tips has a how-to article:
https://fedi.tips/transferring-your-mastodon-account-to-another-server/
@ashleyspencer @punishmenthurts @pathfinder @dyani
I'm in the process of exporting, but Mastodon.social doesn't allow exporting Followers. Will that be an issue? Will people have to follow me @ autistics.life all over again? Certainly an opportunity to "find out who my true friends are", but....
@VulcanTourist @punishmenthurts @pathfinder @dyani They should automatically transfer over. They did for me when I switched to my own server (this one) in 2022.
@ashleyspencer @punishmenthurts @pathfinder @dyani
Bummer, no multi-select for file import! 😏