i am trying to pursue my art both in computers & music
right now, music is just so much more rewarding, i can put my heart and soul 100% into a performance & i will feel seen
software requires so much more work for people to perceive it as art, and i think for now i am tired
getting so fixated on why might be appealing to users, and technical advantages, its so easy to lose sight of the goal of making something deeply beautiful
i’ve put equal work into charisma & my band paperhats the past year (both have been a ton of work)
and i hope i never have to make a hard choice one way or the other, but its hard to imagine getting the same artistic satisfaction with software
i think most likely its just a matter of seasons dedicated to certain things, things are too rigid in my head for how it has to go
i think it’s likely just a matter of shifting my goals and expectations for charisma
in music, it is absolutely insane to think about the listener during the writing process, you are sure to kill creative freedom, but in software this is encouraged
i think i need to double down & forget about users all together, ignore all best practices and just make something beautiful
when i’m performing i realize a lot of what people connect to is the joy we have playing music together, and how important the performance is to us/me
it is a very strange thing, but the more personal it is, the more people can relate to it
why can’t software be the same? i think it can be, and every other method is deeply unfulfilling to me.
the idea of competition in art is paradoxical
you cannot compete with other people, because you are not trying to be other people
the best i can say is i am the best at being marcelle in the world, my art reflects this
there is no such thing as “more beautiful”, only “also beautiful”
Marcelle
Xavier