Okay so there's this upcoming movie called Red One. JK Simmons plays Santa; he gets kidnapped and his people organize a team of ultimate badasses to rescue him. The Year Without a Santa Claus meets The Expendables, I guess?
Except... When they're briefing some guy who doesn't know Santa is real, they refer to him as "Saint Nicholas of Myra".
1/2
Which means JK Simmons is playing the actual Anatolian bishop who mollywhopped Arius at the Council of Nicea for downplaying the importance of Jesus.*
Please, please, PLEASE let them include a flashback to that in the movie. I am begging you, Hollywood. We need this.
* allegedly
2/2
Like, okay, I know this almost certainly didn't happen. But it's the funniest story in the entire history of the early Christian church. Just give us this.
You know what also almost certainly didn't happen? An early Christian bishop becoming immortal and recruiting a team of elves to make and distribute toys to children. We're already in fantasy territory, this is at least something people *claimed* happened.
Claudia Caesaris 🏳️⚧️🥚