J. M. HowellWhy oh why does my brain fight me like I’m a monster trying to drag it to its doom every time I resolve to write???
I WANT to do this, why are you acting like I’m asking us to begin an unbearable chore???
Homoerotic Gollum Art@JMHowell maybe you’re too scared of sucking! sometimes (9 times out of 10) that’s my problem
@Prawnlegs I think deep down, it’s a combo of being afraid it will suck and being afraid that it will be hard and that I’ll struggle and get frustrated (which has a lot of overlap with ‘scared it will suck’)
@JMHowell i’m forever trying to remember that making things is (was? can be?) enjoyable and lock in on THAT because so far my trick has been refocusing the fear from “what if it sucks” to “what if i die without finishing it,” which… gets results but i have begun to realize is STILL fear and not healthy
@Prawnlegs Yeah, I suppose that is ultimately a bit of a band-aid solution. Better than being paralyzed by fear, but still focused on the fear rather than the joy or satisfaction.
@Prawnlegs It DOES make me feel strong and accomplished when I manage to force my brain to let me write when it fought me kicking and screaming, but 1. I probably wouldn’t be staying up as late and spending the day as a sleepy mess if I’d just started right away instead of spending like 2 hours fighting it, and 2. Often I lose the battle and don’t do anything and then feel shitty about it.
@Prawnlegs Last time I visited my parents my dad said “I don’t really worry about things or experience anxiety 🤷♂️” and I thought “Well that must be nice.”
@Prawnlegs Ben, My Mom, and Myself, who all have Capital A Anxiety: “😐”