BeccaJul 16, 2024

I temporarily conducted an orchestra for a month while the conductor was ill. When he passed away I said I couldn't take over full time, so the orchestra disbanded.

In May I quit the community orchestra I'd been conducting for nearly two years, causing them to disband too. It was initially because of the few members turning up to rehearsal but now the relief of not having to do it and all the preparation involved, has made me realise I don't particularly like conducting.

Now I've had another orchestra ask if I'll be musical director (for the second time) because the current one wants to retire. This one's big and well established, 70+ members.

I'm going to say no, because while everyone seems to think I'm good at it, I don't enjoy it, especially the amount of work that goes into it when not doing the actual conducting.

Am I becoming the killer of local orchestras by not wanting to do something that I'm apparently pretty good at, but don't enjoy?

Show threadRebecca BannerJul 16, 2024
@beccabadger You are responsible only for what you do, not what others expect you to do.
I ran a church music group but had to stop due to health, and it disbanded. I stayed on a lot longer than I should have because I knew that would be the effect my leaving would have. The end result was the same but staying on harmed me more than if I had left earlier.
Show threadBecca
@rebeccabanner Thank you. I think they'll honestly be better off without me. The chances of me finding it all too much and leaving anyway a year or two down the line are pretty high, but with the same effect on me as you had.
Jul 16, 2024 at 9:28amWeb