I go into my kitchen and I look at my fridge, whose job is to move heat outside of itself into the room. Centimetres to the right of it is the oven, whose job is to make heat, and we don't like using it in the summer because its whole thing is making heat. Further right is the AC vent, which is connected to a furnace downstairs, which is connected to a big fan outside which blows my heat into the neighbourhood for a few minutes each morning to dry out the air and make it tolerable with a fan. Right next to the furnace, within a metre of it, is the hot water tank, which is another inside-out fridge that takes heat from the basement and puts it into my shower water.

None of these machines are connected together in any way at all

Like, what are we doing here. What are we doing as a species.

Like, come on, we're clever, we can figure this out.

Running pipes and hoses all through our walls to each appliance so it can send its waste heat back to the water tank? Sounds like a PITA but what with the new plumbing ways, home-run pex and all, no 90-degree joints to fail, it's more do-able now than before.

What about those fridge coils next to the oven? They're probably the easiest, they're right there

The water heater and the AC being divorced from each other is some heckin nonsense tho

My furnace fan only turns one way. The system can't flip flaps by itself. It doesn't have any way to hear if the water heater ask for some of the heat elsewhere in the house. My basement is SO CHILLY and my attic is SO HOT

My ceiling fan is cooling me down and making it absolutely fine for me to be at 28 degrees, but it's doing that by dumping 40 watts of heat into the room, and can my ceiling fan tell when I'm nearby? Can it bollocks, if I leave the room then it keeps exhausting 40w for blowing onto dead surfaces that can't sweat
Moving the heat through fluid would be better than moving it through the air, but we're not even trying to move it through the air, what the heck

I had some ideas and I looked on amazon to see if my idea could already be purchased and apparently my idea of a smart fan is very different from capital's idea of a smart fan

Me: 🦝 a smart fan is one that turns itself off when it's not pointed at a person

🦝 also it'd be neat if all the various fans around my house could coordinate with each other to move hot air to where it's either useful or not actively harmful

Capital: 🐷 a smart fan is one where you say "Hey Alexa, turn on this fan" rather than pressing the button

🦝 obviously a smart fan would need a big SPDT switch so it could be toggled back to hardwired Just A Fan mode

🐷 obviously a smart fan could have no buttons or switches and just a bunch of shitty capacitive sensors because they're so much cheaper

The angel on my left shoulder: 👼 If we put electronics in a fan then that means a power supply, and capacitors fail

The trash-fingered raccoon technician on my right shoulder: 🦝 There are fans that run off a drill battery

👼 DC motor, 🦝, brushes also fail

🦝 Brushless DC motors are also a thing

👼 Ah yes, reinventing the AC induction motor, rock-solid reliable basic tech for over a century, by involving a, what was it, a COMPUTER, yes,

🦝 Alright there are some things to think about, but the answers could save people a lot of money, not to mention the emissions versus air conditioning

👼 But for how long, 🦝? A basic fan will last as long as its owner, how long will your brushless DC computer fan keep going? Will it fail just outside of the warranty?

🐷 pardon me, gentlemen, I couldn't help but overhear...

🦝 Could we simply power the Smart Bit off some rechargeable double-A's? That'd go for a few months at a time no problem, right?

👼 You want people to go rummaging through their drawers and lever the crusties out of their Discmans so they can power a web server bolted onto an old desk fan they found in the trash

🦝 Look at me. I'm a raccoon. Of COURSE I want to

Haha oh no the software men have found my thread

Bless you, computers mans, for giving me such wonderful advice

🦝 *makes a post mentioning not one, not two, but THREE heat pumps*
🐰🐩🐁🦅 HAVE YE HEARD O' HEAT PUMPS THERE OUR DAN
@ifixcoinops
I'm proud of myself that I resisted mentioning that 😅