2/? Ah, excuse me, Professor Skye? I believe Iām in next in line to be interviewed for your esteemed instituteās new professor positionā¦
4/? *Sits up straight* Why yes, I am a humble bun from the Humane Society who also experienced a failed adoption.
I trained at MIT. My thesis was on Quantum correlations in moire structured nonlinear matter. I also work with energy in esoteric, unconventional (occasionally mystical) ways, and hold a black belt in Bun Shui.
I believe I would be an asset to your organization.
5/? [Later in interview, after many condensed matter physics questions]
Iāve had many names - none of which are known. š I come to you reborn as Sitara ⨠(said Sitahra), Sanskrit for morning star. I am a bright light amidst darkness. š I celebrate the potential of each morning with fire! I would be honoured to have a new beginning at Thirring!
(Other assets: Iāve been spayed so you donāt have to worry about office romances⦠š¤ and I am GREAT at multitasking⦠here, let me demonstrate...)
6/? You have made a compelling case for yourself indeed, Sitara. We have been seeking a condensed matter physics professor such as yourself for some time at Thirring to take our research to the next level.
I believe you will make a great asset to our distinguished team. I am willing to make you an offer and we can work out the details of your office space, training (mandatory SkyeSlam 101 course, etc), shifts for administrating Mastodon, etc. later⦠-Professor Skye š#NewHire #ThirringInstitute