FmbyMFWhat was your most intrusive thought?
I used to rummage often, meaning that many old conversations, arguments, and aggressions lingered in my mind for days and would upset me very much. I went to a psychologist and she was incredibly dismissive so I had to deal with that on my own because I felt ashamed to go anywhere else. Thankfully, I don’t have them anymore or as much as I used to.
I think the word you’re looking for is ruminate. The word comes from ruminant animals like cows, who partially digest fibrous plants, regurgitate them, and “chew cud”. Which is what we do when we regurgitate negative memories.
My tool, which works for me but i am not a mental health expert, is this:
When i find that I’ve entered a ruminant thought cycle, I’ll start asking these questions and working through it logically
- Does this memory have something beneficial to teach me in this moment?
- Can I learn any more from this memory?
- The moment is in the past, and I’m alive here and now
- I am the only one who still remembers
- This memory is no longer useful, I will think about something else
- I’ll think about something now, because I’m alive now
I’m sorry your psychologist was ineffective. A good one can be hard to find
the word you’re looking for is ruminate
I do! I can’t believe I used the wrong one, that’s embarrassing. Thanks for the tips and the correction!
No worries! I used the wrong “your” the other day, all good
That’s a great comment. I go though basically the same steps with my constant flow of embarrassing and/or sad memories
If they’re useful then maybe I should explore this thought for a little longer, or try to speak with someone
If I have nothing to gain from it and it’s just making me cringe or sad I try to do something else to distract myself
It’s important to not shut these memories down immediately. Some memories really need to be explored in order for you to properly leave them in the past. And you can bottle up a bunch of emotions if you refuse to think about thoughts that come to you constantly.