Do your parents help you financially?
Do your parents help you financially?
Financially, no.
With babysitting? Absolutely.
Yes.
It’s not that we’re particularly fucked financially, we’re doing enough to keep our heads well clear of the water, but we’re not wealthy by any means and either parents have helped us by stumping up an initial outlay on something, and we’ve paid them back.
My parents have never helped me. They’ve never been able to. On the other hand, we’ve given them a fucking car to make it easier for them to help us out with watching kids and running them around. Then my dad bought a Jaguar. And he has a boat. And a truck. But they didn’t have air conditioning for about a decade because they couldn’t afford it.
I love them, but they are selfish and stupid when it comes to money. As long as they leave my sister (who is disabled and unable to work) some extra money when they pass so I don’t have to pay a bunch for her, too, I’ll be happy.
One of my friend's life ambitions was to own a Jaguar, and he finally managed to buy a used one. He called his insurance agent to add the car to his policy. The agent was like, "Oh, a second car, a Jaguar, no problem. How many miles do you think you'll be putting on it each year? Five thousand should be plenty, yeah?"
And my friend is like, "No! I'm fixing it up and driving it everywhere! I need lots of miles!. and the insurance agent is very quiet and then suggests starting with 5k miles and see how it goes. Whatever, my friend thinks, this guy just doesn't understand the allure of the Jaguar!
He fixes it up, gets it running, here about three blocks from the house and it breaks down. Pushes it home, fixes it up again, gets about five blocks. This goes on for months.
Eventually, my friend changes his car insurance back to 5k per year, and acknowledges that he'll never ever ever reach that much. It's mostly a garage princess, not (entirely) out of a desire to keep the body fresh, but more because it constantly needs babying.
I'm not sure your dad's Jaguar is any better.
My divorced parents are selfish, materialistic, and they will steal from me if they had even my address.
So quite the opposite lol
Yes because nobody will hire someone with disabilities and finding a job is incredibly difficult without disabilities.
My parents are retired from jobs they had most of there life. I only ask out of necessity though.
Fuck capatilism
Yes because nobody will hire someone with disabilities and finding a job is incredibly difficult without disabilities.
Same boat here. Maybe it helps to know at least you’re not alone. Fuck capitalism and fuck ableism for making it so hard for us to participate in their world.
Kind of. I live with my mother so the house expenses are shared - sometimes I’m short on money and she covers it for me, sometimes it’s the opposite.
Sometimes either of us cover my sister’s financial arse too, even if she doesn’t live with us.
No we don’t talk because they’re crazy.
When my grandmother died, she has willed most of her fairly sizeable estate to one of my aunts, and gave my mother and other aunt each just 25K. I don’t think you could tell your kids that you loved them less than the other than that. I assume my parents will leave me a penny. Which I am fine with.
Not since college.
After that, I had to help them out a few times.
A very related question to ask is: did your parents, or extended family, ever help you financially?
Here’s my answer.
Have I ever received help from my parents and/or extended family? Yes. I was able to live rent free after high school while I found my way. When I eventually started college I was able to live at home and commute. My family started a college fund for me when I was little, so I was able to cover about 15% of my in-state tuition. We also got a cash loan from my Grandma to put toward a down payment that we paid back over the course of a few years. Without it we wouldn’t have been able to buy our house.
Am I getting help from my parents or extended family now? No, I haven’t for years. Money and support have started flowing the other direction. I’ve given my mom a (used) car and also let her live with us for a year and a half while she switched careers.
Somewhat the opposite. My mom started “borrowing” money from me when I was a teenager. I was too trusting, but eventually i learned to say “no”.
Fuck, I haven’t thought about any of this in a long time. My mom was awful.
No, not since high school / moving out of the house. I did live in the house for a few years after high school while commuting to a local college and working part-time (full-time during the summer), that certainly helped me get on my own feet even if it wasn’t specifically financial.
My parents weren’t particularly wealthy. At one point they had even declared bankruptcy so I didn’t try too hard to get any school loans through them let alone anything else regarding money.
As in are they actively giving me money or helping me pay my bills? No
But in the past they’ve helped in setting me up financially so that it was easy for me not to need their help. They paid for my education, bought me a car for my graduation, and paid for my security deposit when I started renting on my own. I started working with no debt so I could start saving right away. And for my wedding present they gave me cash that massively helped my husband and I pay for our apartment’s down payment. We probably would have needed another 4-6 months to save up for that otherwise.
Probably much more than is comfortable to admit but importantly, it was always understood that its gravy and I need to manage my affairs assuming they weren’t in the picture.
Had some slipups but I take it very seriously when I borrowed and would always sweeten the deal by helping out with whatever they needed a hand on and taking care to demonstrate there is an upward trajectory (it wasn’t pissing money down the gutter) and lessons were learned.
I’m really glad for the approach because financial responsibillity was not modelled by the other half and even worse, they used their irresponsibillity with money in combination with abuse to deprive me of control against them and experience in managing that crucial aspect of one’s existence.
My relationships with them is much stronger because its fostered better communication and prevented anything to catastrophic from happening.
Not anymore, since I got a real job… They do sometimes give some money as a present to buy something nice, but it’s no longer necessary. They did help me during my study though, paying the ~€2K uni fees every year and some other smaller stuff, so I could focus on rent, groceries, study material, etc. Combined with that, I had some side jobs to keep the study loan pretty small and manageable .
Based on anecdotal evidence, that was kind of the middle of the road. Some friends had very rich parents, who basically paid everything. Other people basically had to pay everything, which lead to huge loans. I think this level of support was pretty much optimal. It forced me to think about money instead of just buying everything I wanted, but also made it easy for me to focus on my study instead of surviving.
Well, mine are dead but my mom kicked me out at 17.
My first set of kids, I gave a little money towards college (they got scholarships and aid that paid most of it, we were quite poor) so they didn’t get student loans, and the younger ones I am letting live at home and feeding them and all as they are doing school locally but no cash, they have jobs.
As adults? No, not financially, but since they helped me with the younger ones I do have some indebtedness towards them. So sure, when they need something I try to help.
They all say they’d be happy to have a big ol family home with everyone in it, but if we ever do that I wouldn’t think of it as helping them at this point. Would be everyone helping each other.
Not since I was kicked out at 15 for being gay.
Happy Pride month!
HahahahahahahahahahhaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
No, see, I owe them, because they decided, 36 years ago, to have another kid. And now the burden of love falls on my shoulders, after being kicked out at 17 for ‘talking back’? Nah brah, I’m good.
They can both go fuck themselves entirely.
I like to not imagine them either!
I’m doing really well now despite it all. Got some great inlaws.