CraigOhMyEggoWhat's the most basic thing you can't do?
VanthSome days when the pollen count is high, breathe.
I can’t whistle. Honestly I think it’s because one of my lower front teeth is crooked, twisted at an angle. 🤷♂️
KingJalopy My parents used to tell me as a kid that I couldn’t whistle because I wasn’t eating my pizza crust. After I started eating the crust I learned how to whistle.
Have you tried eating crust?
BjörnWith a crooked tooth? Impossible!
spittingimageMe neither, and for the same reason.
I lost my ability to whistle in a tragic playground accident when my front teeth met the skull of a friend travelling in the other direction. Ever since, crooked front tooth.
Gammaeven
Last time I accidentally a Coca Cola bottle.
Swallow pills. It takes 3-4 tries every time for the smaller ones.
OhbsI haven’t had trouble swallowing pills, so I don’t how helpful this is, but it’s something that still made it easier for me: I used to try to swallow the pill by just pushing it with water on an initially empty throat. Once I started swallowing the water first, then letting the pill ride between gulps in the stream’s momentum, it became more comfortable and automatic.
I haven’t had to take one in a while but I’ll probably try this or simply try without water next time.
The funny thing is I’m sure you swallow larger pieces of food all the time with no trouble!
Probably when not paying attention. But also, sometimes I chew soup if there’s rice or other small things in it :p
ulkeshDifference is that you can chew the food, it’s much more natural. You can’t, or aren’t supposed to, chew the pill (especially if it’s a capsule). There is a psychological component, for sure.
The food wouldn’t be in a form factor where they can turn sideways and get lodged in your throat. It’s so unpleasant when that happens.
starman2112I wish there was a way to explain this without making it sound gross, but get some saltines, chew em up, and sneak the pill into the mash in your mouth before you swallow
Consuming along with a water-based ice treat such as an Icy Pole, Zooper Dooper etc might help.
Walk more than 20 meters at a time.
How big are your legs, chief?
10 m of course. Can’t you do basic math?
I guess it’s a basic thing which I can’t do
Allow my blood to be taken.
Funnily enough: I am a paramedic with special training in phlebotomy, worked in anaesthesia and did roughly 10.000 blood draws and iV lines in my life.
I am still having a hard time if someone else draws blood from me - I got accustomed to it due to chronic diseases that required a lot of blood being drawn. But: I can without any problem draw my own blood. It’s a bit complicated with only one arm,but I can do that.
(And if you want to put a needle anywhere else beside a vein and a intramuscular vaccination and I need full sedation)
ApyteleFlip an egg or pancake without breaking it.
You’re not waiting long enough for the bottom to set, and/or the nonstick on your pan is crap.
I used to be unable to jump, but then I did Morris dancing. I learned how to jump normally at 27.
What happened when you tried to jump? I can’t picture this.
I second the curiosity. What would it look like? Sudden crouching? Paralyzing indecision?
I’m picturing those seizure goats
Basically
I could spring from my ankles, but getting my knees involved made me mess up the timing and I got no lift.
golden_zealotForgive the audio, recommend muting, but I expect it might have been similar to this video of a woman who does not know how to jump:
Sister doesn’t know how to jump#Shorts
What in the world. Thanks, this simultaneously explains so much and so little.
When o try to tie a knot it works maybe 12% of the time
Figure out when a kettle of piratoes is ready. I can cook a lot of stuff, but when boiling potatoes I always need my GF to check if they’re ready.
Poke them with a fork. If the fork goes in with little to no resistance they’re done. Or, just slice them into 1/4 slices, put them in boiling water over high heat that covers them by 2 inches and set a timer for 15 minutes. They’re done, I promise you.
Smart idea, piratoes are dangerous.
I can’t turn left.
AdaDon’t worry, not being able to turn left is all right
SonotsugipaaThey say 2 wrongs don’t make a right, but 3 rights sure make a left
Remember where I put my keys and or wallet. Def didn’t put them in the bowl my wife got for me by the door specifically to put those things in.
Oh, man, the bowl is there for a reason, just use it Jeff!
(I’ve decided your name is Jeff for reasons not even clear to myself.)
How the hell did you know my name?
It’s obvious. You keep jeffing things up.
At least I’m not jacking them off. Plus nobody’s afraid of a Jeffrey
navigate the social landscape of a corporate office
Oooof, I hear that. Things are more political than ever at my work and it’s like, I just want to do my job and go home
I can’t navigate politics at all. Have done ok working at startups though, some offices are not at all political. Where I work, we can fix other people’s processes if we think of a better way, we work with other departments, I don’t have to go through my manager to talk to your manager to get to you, can go directly to you. Can talk to the CEO, to ex- employees, nobody is protective of their work, nobody is angling for my job.
Everyone in my office just fucking moans about everything, all the time. It’s honestly exhausting. The company is actually really good and gives a ton of perks. Just do your job and go home. Stop trying to bring everyone down with your shit.
The rules are “make anyone above you feel good about themselves because they’ll throw a hissy fit if you don’t make them feel special.” It’s pathetic and I’m tired of it.
But like if I try this, if I break down and try this, I’m so bad at it that it’s insulting and threatening to them to see my transparent flattery and wheedling.
Diving. Thousands blown along multiple failed exams. Still get made fun of in my family and work for that.
pooDiving or driving lol?
Given his luck, hopefully one or the other not both at once tbh
Cooking. I’ve tried learning multiple times but I still can’t really make anything more complicated than boiling pasta or frying eggs or a grilled cheese. I wish I could learn but everytime someone tries to teach me I can’t retain what they teach me and do it independently. I’m constantly fucking up in the kitchen which leads me to waste food, which my parents drilled into me is like the worst sin you can commit, so I stopped trying. I hated throwing things out because I’d fucked them up, especially because by that point I’d be so hungry that my failure would have an outsized effect on my emotions, and I wouldn’t want to try again. So I just order food, make simple things like noodles and sandwiches, and avoid anything more complicated.
AppoxoWhat I did so far to overcome it:
- Accept that sometimes you can’t make every food perfect.
Sometimes the rice is overdone or too sticky or the pasta is too salty. - Try out simple dishes and continue from there. (Potatoes + sour cream -> Baked potatoes (wedges) with rosemary in oil -> Hasselback potatoes -> etc.)
- Keep track of what you liked that your parents prepared for you.
Interrogate them if it’s necessary. Until they stop with the “Do as much as you like” and instead instruct you with “Put about a cup of X and about a quarter of Y by volume”. If you got this you are nore prepared for the measure by eye and feel.
It’s like science. It is science.
Until they stop with the “Do as much as you like” and instead instruct you with “Put about a cup of X and about a quarter of Y by volume”.
My parents are the fucking worst about this. It’s all based on vibes. My dad acts like Amadeus in the kitchen. I’ve asked him to explain wtf he’s doing and he never does. Like he’ll tell me what he’s literally doing, but with no explanation of why.
Meat: get a ThermaPen instant read thermometer and cook meats to 120 for rare, 125 for med rare and 135 for medium. Pull the meat off heat 5 d before it hits you desired temp.