I do feel like I still haven't regained my cooking confidence. Even when I do proper cooking now I seem to be screwing up a lot, doubting myself, stopping with additions because I worry I've overdone it with the spices or the garlic etc.

I think that's probably a manifestation of my wider anxieties and doubts about basically all my few remaining relationships at this point, but it's a particularly frustrating one because I'm a good cook, i've been doing it since I was so young I don't even remember (I want to say 9 but iono)., my whole family are good and versatile cooks.

Sure I haven't expanded my repertoire for far too long, mostly because of money and health stuff limiting my options/energy/confidence. So I'm not as good as I would be otherwise. But it's extra frustrating to get worse. I enjoy cooking, and it also actually affects other people.

Feeding people is a big thing in my family, it's an emotional interaction. It's hard not to feel upset when a dish I know I can make turns out disappointing. And it feeds into the sense that people really don't know who I am, and think I don't know what I'm doing.