jonny (nonvenomous)hiring a hitman is a complicated game theory problem because the hitman always has the option of just taking the money and calling the cops. you have to convince them that you are capable of hiring another hitman to come after the first hitman, but the very act of trying to hire the first hitman indicates that you don't have a second, more reliable hitman ready to go. so i guess the moral of the story is don't be a landlord. https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2024-05-07/landlord-sentenced-20-years-in-prison-in-murder-for-hire-plots
these kinds of signaling problems are universal for any costly signal. for example when signaling that you are a high value mate, the signal itself implies the question why you don't already have one. being an otherwise extremely attractive partner that's single is suspicious - something else must be going on. so 'i have a girlfriend she just goes to a different school' is an optimal first-round strategy in a multi-round game, if in the second round you become conveniently single. i forget where i was going with this
unrelated: i am recently single as my former astronaut doctor partner had to go to space to heal the moon, and our relationship would not be cut short by me being sent to prison for a botched assassination hmu
any maw@jonny that's rough buddy
Iris Young (he/they/she) (PhD)@jonny well hello there, I am also not going to prison for attempted or completed violence and also recently single from a highly successful and moral life partner. (Mine died of, um, protesting.) Can I interest you in a flirting?
@iris
Me trying to hype myself up to participate in said flirting: dont fuck this up dont fuck this up dont fuck this up dont speak in third person narration of internal monologue oh god oh fuck
Me trying to hype myself up to participate in said flirting: dont fuck this up dont fuck this up dont fuck this up dont speak in third person narration of internal monologue oh god oh fuck
@jonny have you tried being a bird? https://mastodon.social/@gedeonm/112398127744839060
@jonny this is why it’s best to essentially cold call potential hitmen. Ask them out for coffee near your target, then say things like, “oh man, look at that guy. Isn’t that just the kinda guy you’d like to kill for money right this second?”
lina isidora | HOLY FUCK ARTEMIS II@aud @jonny wouldn't asking them out for coffee practically kill any alibi you could've had, since it'll be a whole lot easier to find people who've seen you at the coffee shop and would testify?
or maybe ask them out without a target in mind yet then become their close friend then send a target which they'd kill because you friend, maybe even with a discount lmao
@jonny looking at the title i thought that was a plot of some movie where a landlord gets sentenced 20 years and becomes a murderer-for-hire after prison or smth like that
Lunaphied@jonny THIS ISNT EVEN THE FIRST LANDLORD HITMAN SCHEME how are those words i am saying
Adlangx@jonny Seems like being a hitman pays the bills and you can always flip and do little time.
@lightninhopkins aha but if you flip every time then you burn your reputation as a hitman, and each time you run the risk of getting whacked yourself if the other person is indeed capable of hiring a real hitman. high risk, sort of medium to low reward
@jonny Ahh, but no one would suspect the hitman that flipped to ever get hired again. Camouflage.
@lightninhopkins
Brilliant, you have a future in scams
Brilliant, you have a future in scams
@jonny nah, I'm too nice.
Laux Myth (aka Martin)@jonny
Read down.
It is a drug dealer problem in some ways. You have to market to many people to find buyers BUT do not want to make an offer to a cop or informant.
David Chisnall (*Now with 50% more sarcasm!*)@jonny Many years ago, I came across a paper that proposed a fairly simple, way of ending political bribery: you remove all penalties from giving a bribe but place huge penalties (at a minimum, long prison sentences) on receiving one. Anyone who bribes a politician once can then blackmail them indefinitely with no risk. If you report the bribe to the police then the politician will suffer, but you won’t. This makes taking a bribe far too high risk for any politician with more than a couple of brain cells to consider.
I don’t know if anyone has ever tried it.
@david_chisnall
That rocks. All my homies entrap and blackmail politicians
That rocks. All my homies entrap and blackmail politicians
Riley S. Faelan@jonny And don't forget the opportunities for outsourcing: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/oct/22/the-five-reluctant-hitmen-of-china-group-jailed-over-botched-contract-killing
@riley oh hell ya we are into it https://hachyderm.io/@SnoopJ/112401851514167301
SnoopJ (@[email protected])
@[email protected] where does the "infinite chain of assassin subcontracts" fit into this signaling theory https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2019/10/25/chinese-developer-five-hitmen-sentenced-after-failed-murder-outsource/4094899002/
Andrew@jonny the Hitman video games should make this an option IMO