Mastodawn

AItoothbrush Apr 29, 2024

Bro just use singular they. Why is it so hard.

because people change their pronouns and they get pissed off if you use the wrong one.

I’ve had trans people tell me their pronoun. OK, cool. Then a few weeks/months later, they change it. Then they jump down my throat for not knowing the new one they have picked.

Look, most trans people are cool, but there are a few out there who are DETERMINED to be complete assholes about it, no matter how hard you try.

Avoid “them” meaning all trans people or the handful of dipshits you were choosing to talk to?

TubularTittyFrog

All of them now. It only takes a few times of being physical threatened and verbally assaulted before you just decide it’s not worth it. IME the ratio of cool trans people to psychos is 1:1, so it’s 50/50.

I get they feel ‘under threat’ but taking it out on well-meaning people who support you isn’t the answer… and frankly a few years ago it was never big deal. But like I said me not being ‘up’ on the latest pronoun you choose used to be NBD a few years ago… now it’s ‘erasing my existence’ or some crazy extremest nonsense. I have no interest in interacting with extremists.

Yeah painting all trans people that way is nonsense. It gets pretty close to bigotry territory. I gotta wonder where you live or what kind of choices you are making to surround yourself with that many unhinged people. Where I’m at I’ve encountered zero trans people that act like you’ve described.

I can only paint people with the experience they give me of themselves.

“You can’t know if someone is a dipshit until after you interact with them, btw.” That you said that is kinda at odds with what you are saying now.

If you are going to treat all members of a group as being the same as the worst members you have met then you are just choosing to be a bigot.

The issue isn’t trans people as a whole. It’s also not even close to half of trans people. There is something unique about your situation.

Jiggle_Physics Apr 29, 2024

This person is either lying, or had some karen at the coffee shop go off, and is now stretching that. I have family in Boston, Including a couple that live Jamaica Planes. That has been like LGBTQ central for a while. They, and no one they know, have ever been assaulted by people over privilege, pronouns, or for being white white/straight/male/cis. They said the only place they have ever seen such eruptions of behavior is online, meaning it’s just the rare karen.

this was in Jamaica Plane at Espresso Love.

Psychadelligoat Apr 29, 2024

And yes, everyone who i ever tell this too denies it happened to me

Probably because it didn’t. You were physically attacked for just standing in line to get coffee? Totally believable, definitely happens.

no, it’s basic survival instinct.

if i eat the purple berries and they make me puke, i’m not going to eat them again. am i now bigoted against purple berries? or should i just keep eating them and getting sick and doing it over and over again?

just like if i have a shitty meal at a restaurant, i won’t go back to that place, or that chain if it’s a chain. etc etc.

The inherent traits of a species of berries is not comparable to the behavior of an entire demographic. If you treat all trans people as though they are unhinged or looking for the slightest excuse to be offended then that is as much bigoted behavior and stereotyping as treating all Mexicans as lazy or all black people as criminals or all Irish as angry drunks. People are not berries. Their treatment of you isn’t coming from the genetic level.

You may have had some legit crazy fringe case experiences and the shock and hurt that you would feel from that would be very valid but if you turn immediately from that to “if I’m gonna be treated like a bigot then I’ll just be a bigot” then there are some worrisome seeds already planted. If things went as you described them then you had some unfair encounters but those handful of experiences are not close to enough to judge all trans people by. That’s hard to grapple with if there is still that emotional sting from those experiences. I do understand the reaction of “fine I’ll show you just much I can be the thing you wrongly accused me of being”. I’ve been guilty of that in other contexts. But it’s destructive and toxic. It makes the people treating you wrongly feel completely justified. It makes you act like a terrible person that you are not.

I didn’t until 2022 or so. I have been repeatedly assaulted the past few years, verbally and i have been physically and socailly threated by them. I’m done with them now.

Keep moral grand standing all you want. If a group of people repeatedly harassed you I don’t you’d be so high minded about it.

I’m not trying to moral grand stand on you here. I’m saying that your reactions to your negative experiences are valid. But how far you take those reactions needs to be kept in check. Its not a high minded or aggressive stance to warn against letting the emotions of that trauma cause you to overreact. Try not to read it that way but rather as understanding and cautionary. You seem like you try to be decent and fair. You wouldn’t let one bad person from other demographics/groups/whatever dictate how you treat all them. Don’t let these handful of assholes control how you think of and treat all of trans people. Don’t become the monster they accused you of being.

Catoblepas Apr 29, 2024

I think you should also consider that they’re probably just lying and don’t actually have these negative experiences, since they also say they got kicked out of a community garden they helped fund because they were white and kicking out white people helped the garden get more grants.

It’s just not likely that one person is a walking Fox News story, lol