How I wish I rated things:
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ This thing is superb, no notes, I would bear its children if I could.
⭐⭐⭐⭐ This thing was amazing, minor notes, mostly differences of opinion.
⭐⭐⭐ This thing tried its little heart out, bless it, notes but not nasty notes.
⭐⭐ This wasn't my thing. No offense intended, maybe I wasn't in the right frame of mind at the time.
⭐ This thing wasn't my thing because it was bad. It wasn't so bad as to make me hate it, but it sure wasn't good. Major notes. Massive notes.
⭕ This was an insult. I take it as a personal slight that you made this thing, and I'm inclined to demand satisfaction. No notes because to give you notes would imply that I thought you could improve.

How I actually rate things:
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ This thing was fine, and I feel bad for criticizing it because so many things these days just get torn down by people, plus sometimes people's livelihoods are on the line, so here you go, it was good.
⭕ I hate this, you, the world, life itself, myself, gah, sweet fuck set it all on fire!

@intransitivelie

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Had a few notes, but I’m being super generous to offset the smooth brained son of a dipshit in a previous review who unfairly gave you a 1 star review because the package was damaged by the delivery person.

@sysop408
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Because while this wasn't really much good at all, I will be damned if, "Shipping took two days, one star," is the only review of this product. I'll see you in Hell, user38539704!