How I wish I rated things:
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ This thing is superb, no notes, I would bear its children if I could.
⭐⭐⭐⭐ This thing was amazing, minor notes, mostly differences of opinion.
⭐⭐⭐ This thing tried its little heart out, bless it, notes but not nasty notes.
⭐⭐ This wasn't my thing. No offense intended, maybe I wasn't in the right frame of mind at the time.
⭐ This thing wasn't my thing because it was bad. It wasn't so bad as to make me hate it, but it sure wasn't good. Major notes. Massive notes.
⭕ This was an insult. I take it as a personal slight that you made this thing, and I'm inclined to demand satisfaction. No notes because to give you notes would imply that I thought you could improve.

How I actually rate things:
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ This thing was fine, and I feel bad for criticizing it because so many things these days just get torn down by people, plus sometimes people's livelihoods are on the line, so here you go, it was good.
⭕ I hate this, you, the world, life itself, myself, gah, sweet fuck set it all on fire!

@intransitivelie

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Had a few notes, but I’m being super generous to offset the smooth brained son of a dipshit in a previous review who unfairly gave you a 1 star review because the package was damaged by the delivery person.

@sysop408
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Because while this wasn't really much good at all, I will be damned if, "Shipping took two days, one star," is the only review of this product. I'll see you in Hell, user38539704!
@intransitivelie I think when it comes to rating customer service, the person's boss will categorically not give a shit about any nuance below 5 stars.

@SPF
Definitely; my scale for customer service surveys is:

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Because you didn't kill anyone, and I'll consider mitigating circumstances if the death wasn't entirely your fault.
⭐⭐⭐⭐ I survived your murder attempt but I'm not sure whether the wounds will ever fully heal. The other murders weren't family members.
⭐⭐⭐ I hold a personal grudge against you because of some event which took place outside of the context of customer service. You are anathema and if I saw you in the street I would try to run you over.
⭐⭐ You are directly responsible for the deaths of everyone I hold dear.
⭐ Blood feud between our families has existed for generations.
⭕ I cannot give this rating because I am dead.

@intransitivelie half-points should be the average! 3/5 stars is deadly to many ratings, but ratings would be way more balanced if halfway actually meant “no more good than bad or vice versa”
@kadence
I had enough trouble coming up with funny things for five stars, let alone half stars 😅 But I agree, 3 stars should be perfectly acceptable as a rating.

@intransitivelie this is the Uber rating system:

⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️: I arrived at my destination safely
⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ : the experience was so horrible I wish to destroy your livelihood

Something in between could be useful …

@spherulitic
I've never actually taken an Uber but yes, this tracks based on what I know.
@intransitivelie There really is nothing between 0 stars and 5 stars, and that's because companies who treat people like they're disposable have normalised "give us less that 5 stars and some poor bastard is getting fired"

@intransitivelie I got a response to a four star review once saying "hi can you let me know what I could do to raise this to five stars, as our employer makes us write a report every time we receive less than that."

Since then I haven't filled out ratings much at all.

I really wish they'd replace said things with "were you satisfied? 👍/👎” as that's what they really seem to want to know.

@intransitivelie @cstross
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Feedback was mandatory.
⭐️⭐️⭐️ Feedback was mandatory
⭐️⭐️ Feedback was mandatory
⭐️ Feedback was mandatory
⭕️ Feedback was mandatory and I blame you personally.
@intransitivelie This is exactly why NPS scores are mostly useless
@intransitivelie I think Ebert's rating system was basically the top one except he didn't give five stars (it would have meant the same thing, he just didn't) and he had a half-a-star rating that was essentially "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed."
@joXn
I respect people who don't give their top rating possible because they don't think perfection is achievable, but I don't necessarily agree. It's a decent system though, as long as one knows the system.

@intransitivelie

What are you referring to?🤔*Have a wonderful Thursday!🤗🩵🤗

@intransitivelie

*Or maybe it's a poem of feelings?🤔

@LisaWarnerLisaLuv
Nothing in particular, just generally the way I wish I rated things versus the way I actually do. Products on Amazon, movies, albums, what have you.

@intransitivelie

But I rarely use Amazon?
Actually I am chronically I'll and never go anywhere.

@intransitivelie @cstross we need the option to award 0 stars more often.
@intransitivelie I’m finding that’s how I rate things in private versus the reviews I leave on platforms. Because if managers are going to treat a rating system like a binary, then so am I.
@Hareguizer
Yeah, at this point giving anything less than five stars for a lot of ratings systems is tantamount to giving no stars at all.