Speaking as someone who was the father of a new born having to do the every 4 hour trip to the kitchen to boil the kettle and prepare formula, drop the previous bottle into boiling water, repeat. I had a system worked out. If the kettle had tried to offer my sleep addled brain witty bromides, well that kettle would be an ex fucking kettle and I'd be staring at the microwave going "you wanna start something, or will you just heat water and shut up?"

If I wanted to have a conversation with my home appliances, I would buy a fucking Furby. No one wants to have to deal with "the fridge can't get an Internet connection". It's a box that makes things cold.