Hey Keris!

Sounds like things are real rough right now.

I highly recommend that you make another post about your current situation. It’s very possible that there are people who are willing to help you out irl who live in the states that you’re looking at moving to (I know I would if I did, but unfortunately I live in a deep red state too). That would help with building a support network. Also, you are more than welcome to make a GoFundMe or something similar and post it on here to raise funds to help you escape and get back on your feet. We are all rooting for you and want to help!

Hang in there. Take things one step at a time and soon you’ll be free. There is a way out of all of this. You’re at rock bottom right now, and that means that there’s no place you can go but up. You can do this.

You mean I should post in this comm asking for guides/mentors/roommates/something? Was afraid I was already begging too much 😅 (except instead of a heehee-smile imagine like, a really meek “please don’t hate me” kinda thing)

I’m kinda ashamed to admit it but I think my (joint-ownership, ugh D: trying to transfer most of it into PayPal) bank account has enough to get me out. Maybe not even only me. I just don’t know what living costs. I’ve never had to, so suddenly getting dumped into the deep end leaves me like, “Is even this much enough to escape? Seems like it should be plenty but everything costs so much and there are shitloads of sneaky costs like food and travel expenses and hotels stealing deposits…” That is, I’m not in a position of being flat broke (unless they rob me, then I guess I’m fucked) but rather a position of being afraid and alone and overwhelmed and lost and confused. Broken yes, but I could buy a couple plane tickets. Kinda feels like I’d rather be poor with a good critter in a bad place than figure this crap out alone. Maybe I can rescue somecritter else, even? What does that even cost? More things that feel too vague to actually work with :-\

Actually managed to get some positive attention over on another comm, which… kinda expected more negativity in general. It’s almost as if this threadi/fedi/Lemmy thingy is generally less hateful than I’d expected <.< So that’s nice, I suppose. May get some more negativity after explaining more. Feels like I’m just being an ass but… my mental/emotional state’s all over the place and sometimes I feel like I can’t say anything, others I feel like I have to. I’d say the biggest mess is in my head but I just got told the local domestic violence shelters are full so for sure this state at least is a bigger one. Just one of those places has over ninety rooms and they’re all taken by people who’ve had it worse than I have. Great way to feel like even more of an ass asking for help but also angry at this awful world for doing that to people. I’m just ranting I guess. Maybe talking helps, or at least keeps me thinking and not curled up wishing I could just turn myself off.

Yes, please post for anything you need on here! You are in a really vulnerable situation and there are so many people on here who really want to help and feel for you and the situation you’re in. You’re not asking too much for anything.

I’m glad that the money you have is enough to get you out. That’d be your biggest problem if you didn’t have it, but would still be solvable with crowdfunding help from the community.

I can’t help you out much with cost of living, because I also still live with my parent. You can definitely ask around about it on here, though. I’m sure you’ll get some helpful insight from others. If you’re not on the blahaj matrix channel yet, it’d be a good idea to join. It’s kinda like a discord server and you can get more instantaneous answers and help from members of our instance/community if you need them.

It’s completely understandable that your mental health isn’t good right now, and any reasonable person would agree. Just take care of yourself the best you can. 💜