krez56Feb 26, 2024
timberwraith

"Bullying is a normal part of growing up."

Is the same as saying:

1) It's normal for my child to assault others when they don't like someone.

2) It's normal for schools be a place where beatings and emotional abuse take place.

3) Being beaten and traumatized is a normal learning experience for children, both for the child who assaults others and for the children being assaulted.

4) There is something wrong with a child who doesn't prosper under conditions of emotional and physical abuse.

Feb 25, 2024 at 7:07pmWeb
Show threadtimberwraithFeb 25, 2024

I have to say, if you're an adult who believes bullying is a normal part of the process of growing up, I hope you don't have children of your own because you just revealed to me that you think some forms of child abuse are acceptable.

I think that makes you a monster.

Show threadtimberwraithFeb 25, 2024

Oh, is that upsetting?

Speaking as an adult who still suffers from the emotional trauma of being a child who was regularly bullied, I can assure you that your sentiments are fucking monstrous.

Show threadIntransitive Lie(moved)Feb 25, 2024
@timberwraith
Bullying is a normal part of growing up and it fucking shouldn't be.
Show threadJargogglesFeb 25, 2024
@intransitivelie @timberwraith
Bullying is a *common part of growing up. There's nothing normal about it.
Show threadIntransitive Lie(moved)Feb 25, 2024
@jargoggles @timberwraith
I agree, but I also think "normal" is a word which is typically used to put people in their place, so in this case bullying is "normal" because "normal" is bullying.
Show threadJargogglesFeb 25, 2024
@intransitivelie @timberwraith
Exactly. "Normal" carries the connotation that something is an acceptable baseline. There are lots of things that are common, typical, frequent, widespread, etc. that aren't normal by any measure. Language is a powerful thing.
Show threadErosBlog Bacchus has moved!Feb 26, 2024
@timberwraith I recently had the distasteful experience of mentioning childhood bullying on Facebook only to have one of my actual bullies from 45 years ago parachute in and try, in the weakest virtual sense, to reprise the experience. "Bullying is a normal part of growing up" is almost an exact quote of something they said while dumping on me for having the audacity to complain about the toxic environment we shared back in those days.
Show threadElizabeth SudduthFeb 26, 2024
@ErosBlog @timberwraith Occasionally Facebook mentions I might know someone who I've known since I was 3 and who bullied me constantly in 8th grade to the point where I stayed home from school nearly as often as I went. No I don't need to know what's going on in her life, Facebook. I do not care.
Show threadWraitheFeb 25, 2024

@timberwraith @gwynnion When my wife suggested homeschooling (secular) the “socialization” thing was big on my mind.

At one point during our discussion I said “hey, I survived public school” and then sat and thought what that phrase really meant.

Shutting down bullying should be the bare minimum for a schooling environment.

Show threadNowhere GirlFeb 25, 2024
@Wraithe @timberwraith Yeah, I'm skeptical of homeschooling even when done with good intentions, but I also understand why people might be reluctant to send their children into schools as they are now, where state violence and interpersonal violence against marginalized people is increasingly normalized. 😕
Show threadWraitheFeb 25, 2024

@gwynnion @timberwraith So for us it was a few things:
I was (barely, at the time) making enough that it was possible.
The idea of my wife getting a job to (barely) pay for day care so we could see our child LESS seemed silly.
My wife is a bit of an anarchist* & has issues with the structures of a lot of public education (we “unschooled” a la John Holt).

It turned out well overall, which is all one can ask.

*she’s the “radical” in our relationship, & she tends to be right as well. 😀

Show threadlp0 on fire Feb 25, 2024
@Wraithe, you went to a public school? Rich git…
Show threadOrmanFeb 25, 2024
@timberwraith @philpem Similarly, caning used to also be a normal part of growing up too until we realized that running classrooms on "might makes right" wasn't a good idea.
Show threadHugh FergusonFeb 25, 2024
@timberwraith bullying teaches kids that might == right. I suppose if you're a RWNJ then this is completely logical and righteous
Show threadChris WhoFeb 25, 2024

@timberwraith School is essentially a trauma factory that happens to feature some education.

We also learn not to think outside the norms, reject those who do, or you too will be ostracized, and how to weave between well-intentioned but unpowered managers and managers who live to see people be afraid.

And we wonder why people drop out.

Show thread🇺🇦 haxadecimal 🚫👑Feb 25, 2024
@timberwraith
What they say: "Get over it. We were bullied in our time."
What they mean: "If we cracked down on bullying now, it would be unfair to all of the people who were bullied in the past."
Show threadमानस Mānas مانسFeb 26, 2024
@timberwraith All of these are completely normalized and acceptable in any casteist space.