StametsEvery day baby
nman90I thought this a couple of years ago, even though i was diagnosed at 5 (29 now). It’s funny how i went my whole life thinking it was just the stereotypical adhd is just hyperactivity and laziness because the doctors never really tried to explain how this disorder could affect me. I decided to look it up studf about adhd and am deeply conflicted by how it literally explains my entire life and behaviors even though i thought i had it under control. On one hand im glad there is something that explains a lot of my struggles and medical issues but on the other i feel like my entire personality is just dictated by adhd and that i never really had as much freedom of choice as i thought i did.
I feel like the more you understand how your brain works, the more you learn how to work around it.
Full disclosure: I’m not diagnosed, but on a waitlist for ADD - for over a year now and it’s not moving, but I digress. I am diagnosed with autism though.
To me it feels like my brain is a wildwater. You can’t control it, but if you change the environment around it, you can guide it into useful directions. I’m lucky that by now the people around me have accepted it and are able to laugh with me when I fuck up. We have a lot of systems in place to reign in the worst effects, and the more we get used to it the easier it gets not to fall into traps and not to be unreliable.
I guess I’m working on my skills as a mindbender who tricks my brain into being useful while still allowing it to get that dopamine?
Oh i know this one. You’re arguing with your brain, right? Like it’s telling you all sorts of wrong shit, but generally you catch it before you say anything silly, like North is South, etc, and this is easier when you’re not tired or after a couple cups of coffee?
More like sweettalking it? Like, brain is impulsive and wants instant gratification, and I’m like, “but if we finish this before, we could have this!” since I’m trying to set up my life in a way that I can coax my impulses into something productive.
I don’t think my brain tells me much wrong shit. More like “wouldn’t it be fun to tip this precariously stacked thing over and watch the chaos unfold…?” But I usually have a pretty good handle on this x)
I guess it’s more setting up everything so the impulses go a productive way instead of them scattering. And bribing the brain x)
But you are arguing with it, there’s your brain and then there is you, keep an eye on that impulsive toddler? Old greek philosophers talk of this to, in strange language that doesn’t make sense, unless it happens to you.
Yeah, I found the concept of the inner child very helpful. I think because of my upbringing I got disconnected from this and now I’m trying to not act yowards my inner child like my parents acted with me, but instead with love and patience and convincing instead of forcing. The more I do that, the easier it gets and the more cooperative the inner child becomes, because it is heard and believed and that is the basic for compromise imho.
oh ffs is that where the “inner child” came from? I just read a bunch of greek philosophy that seemed to indicate arguing with an inner voice, that in my experience feels like a kid. Even the Odyssey had a child like feel.
I encountered the concept in therapy, no idea where it comes from, but it just feels right to me :)
SwedneckI feel the same way but slightly different, for me it’s less sweet talking the brain and more that the brain tells me what we need and i come up with as good of a way to achieve that as possible.
“Orders from above! We need pizza posthaste!”
- “Very well, let’s walk to the grocery store and buy a frozen pizza, that way we burn some calories and the pizza is cheap.”
Oh, interesting. To me it doesn’t feel like orders, more like nagging? And the more I say no the more I want it. After I was able to afford things, my impulse buying went way down, because I didn’t instantly think “no”, but instead went “I could. But then I would use it once, and it would be in the way for the rest of my life, and it’s a hassle” and all of a sudden thinking about the consequences makes me go “you know, maybe I don’t need it after all…”
well it’s not orders in the sense of “do this or else”, more in the sense of a captain commanding his ship, you really want to listen to the captain because they generally know what needs to be done
i guess a better way of putting it is like sneezing, yes you can hold in a sneeze but apparently that can result in your fucking throat tearing open so PROBABLY don’t do that, instead you can sneeze into your elbow rather than into someone’s face.
Ahhh, that makes more sense. Yeah, when it comes to food atm I generally listen to my body even though it may be not the healthiest option. My main reasons are 1) that I believe you typically crave the nutrition your body desires and 2) it’s a “pick your battles” situation.
If you try to change everything at once cause you’re fed up and decided your life needs to finally get back on track after an eternity of slacking, you’re setting yourself up to fail. I know, I’ve failed umpteenth times that way 😔
So I decided what area to focus on and in those areas I’m like the first officer who offers commentary to the captain when the captain makes a decision (cause captain is impulsive and often doesn’t even ask for comments before making that decision). I’ve fould a way to “phrase it” that makes the captain consider things I say and sometimes we change course.
Food/weight is not among the areas I’m actively involved in right now cause my energy is just not enough to change my eating habit while fighting my other habits. I’m still trying to keep it within boundaries that I decided on first, so I’ll detail the compromise that I made with myself below. If that bores you, feel free to skip :) Most of it involves reasoning with myself, though, which I also like to frame as compromising with the inner child. I guess I just think of my impulsivity as someone to reason with, and you win some, you loose some?
I work in IT and sit a lot, though, so if I constantly crave chocolate I do question myself if this is just one of the following three:
- being bored. You wouldn’t believe how often I just go open the fridge not out of hunger, but of boredom! I trained myself to always focus on my stomach when I open the fridge door and see if , I’m actively hungry before I decide anything
- I’m so frustrated with something that chocolate/something sweet is needed to regulate my mood
- this is is one of the moments where evolution has trained me to scream “sweet stuff! This is a rare treat! You cannot ignore this gift from the gods!” Because sugar is so rich in energy and that was really important in the stone age where you used a lot.
Being bored and the sweet stuff moments I go, well, this is not a healthy reason to snack, what can I do instead? With frustration I more often than not give in.