I plan to do a weekly check-in with my weight each Sunday, and on the first day of the month, I'll do a check-in with weights and progress measurements.

I know what I need to do, and I'm going to use the #LessAllie2024 to talk about it and vent about it, and maybe record my thoughts and successes and failures.

Along with being able to do 60 minutes of exercise a day by December, I want to be down to below 140kg by December 31. That's at least 24kg, which is 2kg per month, which is considered a safe and slow weight loss goal.

I also want to improve my lean body mass, and plan for part of my exercise goals to target muscles that will (hopefully) give me a more feminine silhouette.

The reasons for #LessAllie2024 are in my next post, which is a lot more personal.

#Project365 #2024Project #2024HealthProject #LessAllie2024

Over a decade ago, I got stuck into a keto diet at my doctor's recommendation, with weekly check-ins with him. I made videos that I posted to YouTube, I listened to a fantastic podcast that taught me a lot about losing weight in a healthy way, and the importance of weight training and lean muscle.

I *know* how to lose weight. I lost weight, and got down to 108kg (238lbs). That was less than I weighed in high school. I'd started at 174.8kg (385lbs).

Yet when I looked in the mirror, I couldn't see a difference.

Not long after hitting that weight, I hurt my back badly while we were moving house, with the end result being that I put on 32kgs, and my weight hovered around 140kg (309lbs) for many years.

The problem is that eating has always been my main coping mechanism. In that same period of time, I was trying to come to terms with my #GenderDysphoria, and find a cure for it. I used food (and for a long time, alcohol) to numb the pain. My weight crept back up until I hit a plateau of around 160-165kg (353-364lbs).

When I had the breakdown in 2020, I lost a whole lot of weight dropping back down to just under 140kg for six months because I just wasn't eating, and the meds weren't helping, until Duloxetine, which fixed my brain within two weeks.

I also gained 20kgs (44lbs) in 4 months(!), which brought me back to that 160-165kg plateau.

It's hard on my body to carry that much weight, particularly on my heart (hello high blood pressure!) but above all else, that fat is distributed in an explicitly male-coded way, which is a huge #GenderDysphoria trigger for me.

It also means that I can't buy or wear any cute clothes that I like, because they don't fit properly, which becomes a vicious dysphoria circle.

#HRT should cause some fat redistribution over time, with my body becoming more female shaped, but there are no guarantees for how that will turn out, if at all.

That moment when I looked in the mirror and I couldn't see any difference in my body between my start weight and 108kgs? That was retroactively diagnosed as body dysmorphia by my psychologist (on top of the gender dysphoria, yay!).

My "eating-to-cope" is not just a coping mechanism. It's Binge Eating Disorder. Again, that was a formal diagnosis.

These are both things I'm working on with my psychologist.

Please understand that my reasons for losing weight and not ones I'm willing to debate. I understand fat acceptance, and HAES (Health At Every Size), but this is a deep and complex issue for me.

If this is the kind of thing you find triggering, please don't read it. Please mute it.

#Project365 #2024Project #2024HealthProject #LessAllie2024

January 1, 2024 - Day 1 - Weigh-in #1 / Measurements #1
Total Weigh-ins: 1

Here's my starting point:

My overall weight loss for 2023 was 3.8kgs (8lbs6oz)

Starting weight: 164.3kg (362lbs3.5oz)

Neck: 47cm (18.5")
Chest: 162cm (63.8")
Waist: 160cm (63")
Hips: 134cm (52.75")

Left bicep: 46cm (18.1")
Right bicep: 46cm (18.1")
Left thigh: 76cm (29.9")
Right thigh: 78cm (30.7")

[This post intentionally left blank]

I know there will be something I want to add later in the year, figure I'll make space for it now. It's literally what happened last year when I realised I wanted to add some extra commentary and I had no room.

January 1, 2024 - Day 1 - Check In
Total Check Ins: 1

Water goal: 2L
Intake: 2L

Exercise goal: 5m
Actual: 6m

Exercise: Walking
Location: Outdoors

Distance: 0.55km
Pace: 11m12s/km

HR: 113BPM

Comments:
Turned out to be harder to motivate myself than I expected.

Gotta get my shoes and socks on, put on a sports bra, and I was *really* sleepy, to the point I dozed off for an hour ~6pm.

I haven't been taking my anti-inflammatories for a few days, which meant that it felt extra painful on my back. I don't want to keep relying on anti-inflammatories though, so... pushed through.

I need to look up some core strengthening exercises tomorrow, and put something small together there too.

#Project365 #2024Project #2024HealthProject #HealthyAllie2024